And with a punny sense of timing, may I present:
The first Frozen Globe of the day has had audiences and critics in an hours-long debate of the standard "who should win/who will win" variety. Fans argue that the Best Performance in Periodical Distribution award clearly belongs to the bum who normally hands out the Fake Paper at Pentagon City for saving up enough vacation time to take the Unscheduled Leave for the day. Critics, however, are victorious.
The Lady Who Couldn't Decide Which Copy To Take Off The Pile!
Yes, most of us just take the one on the top of the pile. Or the one underneath if that one's wet. Or the one under that. But not today's winner. Oh, no. There's gotta be one copy in there that's better than the rest and she's not going to settle, ladies and gentlemen.
One might think that the most dangerous walking surface on a day like today would be an icy sidewalk. Not here!
The Tile Floor in the Metro Station!
Sure, this seems like a gimme. But it was a tough race between the Tile Floor and the Metal Escalators. Don't underestimate that floor. Sure, the escalator is exposed to the elements, but as fortune (or misfortune, in today's case) would have it, the escalator was operational today, costing it the award. There's always next year, escalator!