The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight
maeincarnate

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The Frozen Globes, Pt. 2

Rare as it may sound, there is a tie for one of the Frozen Globes today. If thinking that one nominee's laziness is literally matched with another may seem crazy to you, you probably haven't spent much time in the DC Metro Area.

For Worst Performance in Street Snow Removal:
Arlington County and the District of Columbia!

According to eyewitness weather reports, snowfall ceased at approximately 3:30 this morning. By 8:45, nary a snowplow had kissed the surfaces of Arlington County roads. Surely, the District would be better? Ha. How naive we can be. Looks like DC is planning ahead for tomorrow's Frozen Globes: why bother plowing when a night's worth of freezing rain is in the forecast?


***

Throughout my childhood, I noticed how school bus drivers have a little wave that they flash to one another as they pass. I've even observed this fraternal handshake, if you will, being exchanged between Metro bus drivers. I often wonder if they only wave to the other bus drivers they're friends with, or if the bus wave is akin to the office hallway smile-and-nod.

For Best Performance in Street-Level Noisemaking:
DC Snowplow Drivers!

Like bus drivers, the snowplow drivers have their own method of acknolwleding one another.
Unlike bus drivers, it is not a silent hand wave, but the blare of an air horn. Be it one sustained blow or a sequence of toots, the DC Snowplow Driver will announce to the world when their brethren are in the area. Like buses, snowplows are equipped with backup alarms. Unlike bus drivers, the Snowplow Driver is not satisfied with the backup alarm and will accompany the alarm with staccato honkings from the same air horn. Like buses, snowplows drive about as fast as you walk...
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