It had not occurred to my Northeastrocentric mind that there was such a place where Drakes Cakes did not exist. I didn't even notice their absence, nor did I think that anyone had lived a Drakes-free life. Until, that is, my sister-in-law's bachelorette party. The gals and I were wandering around New York City, and found our way into a deli. Inside, one of the girls, a native of Indiana, squealed, "LOOK! Drakes Coffee Cakes!!!" and her sister and some of the other girls croweded around her. "It's just like Seinfeld!" they giggled, "It's actually real! I thought it was just for the show!"
While this seemed very genuine, it struck me as an isolated incident. And since my brother had found some contraband Ring Dings at Wal Mart within months, the regional rarity of Drakes seemed fleeting. Last weekend, Mickey and I found and purchased boxes of Ring Dings and Coffee Cakes at a ma & pa grocery store, and while we delighted in them, it too seemed very mundane. Until last night when he revealed to me that the Giant near his work also had the Coffee Cakes and Ring Dings, but also had these snacks called Devil Dogs. The widening of my eyes spoke enough for him to know that next time, he needs to pick up the Devil Dogs. As I reminisced on how long it's been since I've eaten a Devil Dog, he showed his hand. He had never heard of nor even less partaken in a Devil Dog.
So it's true. People from other parts of the country do not share the same fond memories of finding those glorious 3-paks of Yankee Doodles in their lunchboxes, or the standard Yodels Vs. Ho Hos debate. They don't know that when I say I'd cut off my left tit for a Funny Bone right now, I fucking mean it.