The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight

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Old Friendsters

Reveling in the post-conference lull, I went into full-on Stalker Mode yesterday afternoon, Googling and searching Friendster for old friends I have lost touch with. I often have trouble thinking of people to look for, as I am pretty good at keeping in touch with people - well, I'm good at knowing where they are and how to reach them if I was so motivated, but often draw blanks or otherwise procrastinate my way out of composing the email or letter or making the phone call.

Yesterday I found a Friendster profile for one of those friends and have since exchanged a few emails. It's wild to think: this guy and I used to talk on the phone until we fell asleep on one another as 8th graders and now we're catching up on the last 7 or 8 years in 500 word increments. It's hard, as I'm sure everyone knows, to do. What is important enough to say? What can be left out? What things, if I focus too sharply or gloss over them will cause unintended impressions?

What struck me the most about his email was how happy he was to hear from me. He said he'd been Googlestalking too, and that he had been hoping to get in touch with me, especially lately. HM made a post the other day about how we often don't think about ourselves the same way others think of us.

Like how I am constantly of the belief that casual offers for lunch, happy hour, call-me-when-you're-in-the-area, or "I know ______. Give me a call and I can help you out with that" are all merely polite little platitudes that the maker never intends to make good on, I am constantly of the belief that I am among the most forgettable and insignificant people in the life of nearly everyone I have met. Perhaps part of a story or anecdote, but not someone that people wonder about. I am absolutely bowled over that he was actively trying to get in touch with me. Why would he be doing that? He's got stuff going on...good friends...a successful accomplished life. I'm not a part of that. I dwell in the past that they have moved on from.

Then again, maybe everyone isn't living the life I thought I'd be living right now. This old friend genuinely wants to reconnect with me. Maybe I'm not the only one who is still hung up on the same 15-year old hangups and beating themselves up for the same things they always have.

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