The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight

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I'm Never Bowling Again

Last night, I had the most fun I have ever had going bowling. I hate bowling.

I've always hated bowling, especially in high school when I'd get dragged out to play and the most fun part was dressing up in my bowling costume featuring peg rolled acid wash jeans, purple eyeshadow, a high ponytail (krimped if possible) and [NAME OMITTED TO PROTECT THE FORMER HAIRBAND FAN]'s Nelson concert t-shirt.

Bowling took a turn for the better when I became legally allowed to drink beer there, but it still never held much for me. I suck at it: maybe because I'm awkward with the form, maybe because I can never find a woman-weighted ball that has holes big enough for my man-sized hands. The bowling itself always seems to get in the way of the hanging out and bullshitting, and just when I get comfortable and into a conversation, it's time to go up and throw that stupid ball again.

Last night I didn't bowl. I've said nearly every time we've gone that I don't want to bowl, and someone usually talks me into it. Last night we had enough people for me to slip under the radar and my bowling forfeit to go unnoticed. Let me say, I was happier than a pig in shit. I took a spot right behind the three lanes we had, watched, got to talk to everybody as they came up between turns, got to watch and cheer everyone on, and not once did I have to bowl. It was the best part of going bowling without the pesky bowling part to get in the way. And I'll never look back.

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