The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight
maeincarnate

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The Worst: A Tournament of Suckage

The Worst:
Gamer has suggested an experimental Single Elimination, 64-Seed tournament to run for the next few weeks to find the champion of the Shitty Celebrities.

Qualifications:
Any celebrity that is:
  • Overexposed (or, someone you are or who is "so over")

  • Unexplainably Irritating

  • Takes themselves way to fucking seriously

  • Makes a shitty "artistic product" (i.e. crappy movies/music/etc.)

  • Makes no discernable "artistic product" or is otherwise talentless

  • Generally sucks


  • In the interest of nonpartisanship, political figures or newspeople do not qualify, including but not limited to: George Bush, Hillary Clinton, Al Franken, Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter or Maureen Dowd.

    Certain celebrities' participation can be qualified by era, i.e., "Family-Movie Eddie Murphy", "Post-Drugs Aerosmith", etc.

    It is quite possible that one man's star is another man's shitty celebrity. It could also come to pass that one bracket contains, in your opinion, two nonshitty celebrities. Please choose the celebrity that sucks less.

    I hope to start this tomorrow, as I will be traveling on Friday. Therefore: Please submit any suggestions you may have to the 64 contestants via comment. The more ideas you suggest, the less chance celebrites you don't think suck will qualify.



    Contestants:
    Paris Hilton
    Ben Affleck
    Martin Short
    J-Lo
    Family-Movie Eddie Murphy
    Creed
    Britney Spears
    Post-Drugs Aerosmith
    Jerry Lewis
    Bono

    Yoko-Ono John Lennon
    The Enzite Guy
    Omarosa (The Apprentice)
    Serious-Movie Steve Martin
    Beyoncee
    Jimmy Fallon
    Matthew Lesko (the get cash from the government guy)
    Cher
    Martin Sheen
    Alan Alda

    P. Diddy
    SimonANYBODY from American Idol
    Carrot Top
    Celine Dion
    Queer Eye for the Straight Guys
    Mid-90's SNL Cast (Brewer/Shannon/Oteri/Kattan, et al)
    John Basedow
    50 "Fiddy" Cent
    Ryan Cabrerrahoweveryouspellit
    Mariah Carey

    Ray Romano
    Ashlee Simpson
    Billy Mays (The screaming Oxy-Clean guy)
    Mary Kate and Ashely Olsen
    Kathy Griffin
    Ashton Kutcher
    Eminem
    Sheryl Crow
    Kid Rock
    "Newly"weds Nick & Jessica

    Jared from Subway
    George Lopez
    Drew Barrymore
    Jennifer Garner
    Tommy Lee
    Dennis Rodman
    Carmen Electra
    Pamela Anderson
    Tara Reid
    Jane Fonda

    Woody Allen
    Fred Durst
    Dave Navarro
    George Lucas
    Starr Jones
    Moby
    Any MTV Talking Head that's not Kurt Loder
    Ty "Trading Sears" Pennington
    Michael Jackson
    Post-Motherhood Madonna

    Suzanne Somers
    Brittany Murphy
    Melanie Griffith
    Bill Gates
    Steve Jobs
    Evanescence
    Charlie Sheen
    Cameron Diaz
    Anyone from Blue Collar TV
    Anyone who's been on Real World or Road Rules after Season Four
    Billy Blanks
    Oprah
    Dr. Phil
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