The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight

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Denial in Dowdville

Some idiot in my building has a bumper sticker that says "I THINK...THEREFORE I AM SINGLE."

I generally have a low opinion of bumper stickers, and a lower opinion of those who use them, but this is perhaps the most asinine bumper sticker I have ever seen. However, given that I've thought about this stupid piece of plastic for longer than it took me to read the phrase, it, and the mouthbreather who stuck it to her* car, may already have won.

I've tried to think of what in the hell this is supposed to mean. A cry against the traditional constructs of marriage? Is she too busy thinking to land a dude? Or has all this thinking resulted in an existential realization on the folly of relationships?

foobiwan pointed out a recent article by batty blowhard Maureen Dowd, in which she pieces together an argument that men are intimidated (or worse, turned off) by intelligent women. Is this the theory that impacted my neighbor so deeply she felt compelled to stick it to the ass-end of her car?

Dowd's article, (and it's a long one), while fodder for about 6 topics that immediately come to my mind, is on to something. What that something is, however, is not necessarily what she intended. Sure men are intimidated by smart women. People in general are intimidated by smart people. And while many men's adherence a sort of biological need for dominance plays a part in this, so does many women's insistance on playing into the whole "dumb is cute" routine. Battle of the sexes bladdity blah blah.

What's most interesting about the article is Dowd's well masked insecurity. Why don't the boys like me? It's gotta be something. I'm fabulous! I've got this great job, and this great life, and I'm beautiful and interesting and smart. Smart! That's it! I'm too smart!

Face it, we've all done it. Whether it's our body or our accent or our job or whatever, we all have used something as the catch-all flaw to blame when we find ourselves disappointed. And, more often than not, we choose something about ourselves that we feel good about. That way it's their fault not ours. It's kind of like that job interview question about your biggest flaw. "I care too much," "I work too hard," "I'm too independent," etc.

So, Maureen, you may be smart. But let's take a closer look at that Ms. in the Mirror. If past articles are any sort of evidence, you are finger-twirlingly insane. And that's the snap judgment of a casual reader. I can't imagine what the people who know you have to say about you, but I'm sure there's something that is unappealing at best. I hope it's very comfortable sitting in that big brain of yours on lonely Friday nights. It's not you; it's them.

And to my neighbor: think about this, sister. You put a sticker on your car advertising that you're undateable. I doubt smarts are your problem either.

*We all know it was a chick who did this. Let's not kid ourselves.

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