chaobell -- Should I put up the Xmas tree knowing full well the cats will destroy it within 24 hours, or just pile up presents on the sewing table again?
Cats have no concept of gifts, so putting up a Christmas tree is the nicest thing you can do for them. Think of it as a towering rack of dangling cat toys that they get to play with one month out of every year.
Aaah, just like Christmasses of yore. We'd huddle around the sewing table in our jamjams in awe of the collapsible wonder of the Christmas bounty before us.
eideteker -- How many questions will we have next week?
Wait you mean right now? Um, 18. 20 if you count Mej's question and the Question for Questions
Do you mean for next week? Oh jeez, I dunno. 12?
Way to blow your question. AGAIN.
bobwhite -- How does three month old Spaten Octoberfest feel coming out?
Depends on which way we're talking about here.
You're kidding yourself if you think that stuff is only 3 months old.
The same way it felt going in: smooth and empowering, with a hoppy aftertaste
coldblackncold -- What are you more tired of: half hour sitcoms or hour long cop dramas? Both?
Sitcoms. All those cop drams are so fresh and innovative! I can't wait to see where CSI goes next!
Cop Dramas. Sitcoms are so hilarious! Especially ones that are funny because they're true!
Both. But if they joined forces, I'd watch the shit out of Everybody Loves the NYPD
funboytim -- What do you drink while flying? In an airplane, I mean. Smartass.
$4 worth of 7-11 quality Merlot
Anything that comes in a little teeny bottle
twicketface -- Which card game is the most fun overall?
frockazulu -- the left lane is for: passing; sunday driving; only guys going as fast or slower than me; mario andretti and he alone
Only guys going as fast or slower than me
Mario Andretti and he alone
htothem -- How do you feel about the Nick and Jessica split?
Denial: No way. Those kids really have something. I saw every episode of Newlyweds and there's no faking a love like that.
Anger: Those fucking tabeloids ruin everything. Is nothing sacred anymore?
Bargaining: Maybe they're hitting some rough financial times. Maybe if I go see Dukes of Hazzard a couple dozen times it will all work out.
Depression: First Brad and Jen. Now this. Ugh.
Acceptance: It's best this way. After all the joy they've brought us, they deserve to be happy, together or not.
pooplord -- Why does my pee smell like tuna after drinking coffee? Wait, have I asked this question before?
I don't know./No.
Okay, the ephedra/acetone question made sense, but this? This is ridiculous.
Am I the only person who doesn't routinely go sniffing around the bowl after I take a leak?
Thanks to the low-carb craze, they've started fortifying coffee with protein and Omega-3 Fatty Acids.
chaoticgoodnik -- The Federalist Papers: important American foundational document, or wasting paper and ink on a bunch of bloviating dead white guys?
Papers, plural? Doesn't that make them foundational documents?
They weren't dead when they wrote it.
"Bloviating." Sounds like a word someone who can read the Federalist Papers would use.
Waste of paper. That shit is like, a billion years old. What's that gotta do with my life now?
friendship7 -- Have you heard the 15 minute joke about the god fearing parrot?
Is there a pun involved? If so, lay it on me, brother. I do love me a long buildup for a bad pun.
demoninmyskull -- Will the French ever shake off the stigma of being total pussies?
It's too valuable an image for them to lose. When they choose to strike (which won't be in August or any day between eleven and two) we won't see a thing coming.
The sort of thing they'd have to do to man up their image went out of fashion in the 1400's.
What do you mean, "stigma". They're fucking pussies, man.
rustnroses -- Is Hell endothermic or exothermic?
Um, the fire and brimstone one.
Whatever kind they have running in my office.
Hooby Dooby. My mom sent me the best forward about this just the other day. Those college kids and their hijinx!
absolutcalm -- Which wieghs more: a pound of feathers or a pound of Gold.
Pfft. Trick question. Feathers.
lgdizko -- what is the deal with men, sports, and spit!!! must you act like a fucking llama once you become a professional player?
Llamas don't dip chaw. What's their excuse for spitting so much?
Sports have nothing to do with it. Dudes spit all the time. We just see sports people doing it more since they're on TV.
Thanks to Big League Chew commercials, I actually thought baseball players were chewing gum when I was a kid.
They act gross on purpose to discourage people from entering the competition. Imagine how many sports legends we missed out on just because they had more manners than to spit in public.
subbes -- Why did my cat try to stick his tongue in my ear?
This is clearly a learned behavior. Please be more careful of how you behave in front of your cat.
Keep dreaming, Furry.
He'd have to have had his like whole face in your ear before the tongue even came into the equation. What did you think was going to do?
Your cat loves you and wants to keep you as clean as he is. Sounds like someone with a very caring cat needs to invest in Q-tips.
soarjubs -- Why are there no proverbs about porn?
Why do you think all those rednecks keep holding up "John 3:16" signs?
They're in there. Somewhere in the back, but they're in there.
Hello? Vatican II?
Snakes...apples...gardens...you do the math.
renob423 -- why was there no poll thanksgiving weekend or make-up poll on the monday after?
I don't care what people say about clearing caches and cookies. I'm not looking at LJ from my mom's computer.
I had shit to do and beer to drink Thanksgiving weekend.
The Monday after was a zoo at work.
I don't have to "make up" shit. You'll get the poll when I give it to you. And you'll like it.
Baby, please. I am not from Havana.
On a scale of 1-10, with 1 being "I'm offended by this Christocentric question" and 10 being "giddy with magical glee", how Christmassy are you feeling *this* week?
Mean: 5.27 Median: 5.5 Std. Dev 2.51
"There's an ingredient in lip balm that makes your lips more dry after use to make you use it more."
YOUR QUESTIONS MAKE POLL FUNNY.