htothem -- Why can't I remember anything that happened in 2005?
2005 is the future, Helen. Do you think you're living in the future?
Nothing happened in 2005.
You'll remember in like 4 years. It's too early for nostalgia.
This is what you get for relaxing with Vicodin.
observacious -- What part of “It’s early—I haven’t had any coffee—I’m listening to music and reading my book—so, NO, I DO NOT WANT YOU TO TALK TO ME ON THE METRO” don’t some people understand?
The question is, what part of it do they understand?
The appositive part.
They understand it all. They just don't give a shit.
eideteker -- 2006: Do over, make over, or wish it was over?
Huh? Do you mean 2005? Or is this some sort of witty omg it's only January 6 sort of thing?
When I said the questions won't be posted until next year, I meant it as a play on the whole ha ha see you next year bullshit thing. I didn't mean they'd be posted in 2007.
The streak continues.
ao -- How many mexicans can you fit into an 87 toyota?
Eight. 2 in front, 3 across the back, 2 on their laps, and one in the trunk.
Not as many as you can Salvadoreans. They're far more svelte than Mexicans as a nationality.
Oddly enough, 87. Isn't it eerie?
In high school I managed to fit at least 6 in my 87 Toyota Corolla, and I was just some ametur 17 year old.
demoninmyskull -- Has anyone ever actually kept a new years resolution?
Totally. I'm 20lb lighter, drink less, exercise more, spend more time with my loved ones and have taken up new hobbies since January 1, 2005!
People actually make New Years Resolutions?
Has anyone ever stopped drinking after they shouted it in a toilet?
pooplord -- Why did my dad get me a gift certificate for a "spa splurge" for Xmas?
You're his baby, after all. He wants you to keep looking that way.
Maybe he noticed the same thing about your "itchy" legs.
Do you really think a 50-some year old man has any idea what to get a 20-something young woman for Christmas? He probably saw it on some msn.com list of hot gift ideas.
Because massages and facials and shit rule. Why are you even asking this?
renob423 -- who killed Laura Palmer on Twin Peaks?
The emergence of the Fox Network
Fire Walk With Me
frockazulu -- why does fame make comedians unfunny?
Famous people no longer spend time with people whose primary interest is sucking their dick. Yes-men think anything a famous person does is funny, whereas nonfamous people are willing to say you suck.
With great fame comes great liability. By nature, comedy is risky.
Most people don't understand funny. The famous must pander to them.
They were never funny. We're just tired of their shtick now.
absolutcalm -- Which evil supervillain would make the best president and why?: Lex Luthor, Dr. Doom, Mojo jojo or Will Eisner.
Lex Luthor - Bald worked for Eisenhower, it could work for Luthor.
Dr. Doom - Once the presidency is opened to naturalized citizens from Eastern European countries, the door is wide open for Schwartzenegger.
Mojo Jojo - Superintelligent Monkey. 'Nuff said.
Will Eisner - Even in death, he's the only one of these choices that was at one time or another real.
clockwatcher -- When was the last time you made a snowman?
It doesn't snow where I live.
I live in a city, so the last time I did make a snowman, it was a sort of salt-and-pepper affair of snow and bits of road.
Is that what the kids are calling it these days?
subbes -- What's the point of diet caffeine-free Mountain Dew?
It's for XTREME people who watch their waists and prefer adrenaline highs to caffeine.
You need something to wash the awful Khlav Kalash taste out of your mouth.
Ugh. Who am I kidding. There's no point to that shit.
twicketface -- What kind of donut is the most delicious?
The Donut kind.
Dunkin Donuts Chocolate Honey Dipped
friendship7 -- Dual citizenship or security clearance?
Security Clearance. Like Canadians have ever made money.
Dual Citizenship. Better to be cosmopolitan than to never be able to talk about your job.
soarjubs -- Will any other young celebrity stare ever match the sheer, indomitable death-rays of angst that Andrew McCarthy could summon forth at will?
From like Weekend at Bernie's? The Jewish kid?
Wait until Jamie Lyn Spears makes her mark on Hollywood. Just. you. wait.
Will? No. Did? Damn right. And his name is James Spader.
One day, indomitable death-rays of angst will be an actual body modification and not just a colorful description. Then and only then will he be dethroned.
Those people who sit in the all-staff luncheons bullshitting with the Big Boss about investments and always tying jokes back to something to do with the company, do they really really enjoy those lunches?
Sadly, they do. It's the funnest part of work, and entirely devoid of irony from their perspective.
Like? Hate? Who cares. It's about climbing to the top, man.
They hate it just as much as the rest of us. They sold their souls a looooong time ago.