eideteker -- OMG FRIST PSOT!
htothem -- Are you gay for Fred Savage?
In the way George was gay for Dan Cortese.
I was gay for The Mole, does that count?
My gay love for Fred Savage is about as believeable as Fred Savage playing a gay guy.
Not now, but I sure was during that first season of Wonder Years (too far?)
coldblackncold -- Prince Will Smith vs. Jamie Foxx, Son of Redd
Prince Will Smith
Jamie Foxx, Son of Redd
Ali Will Smith would beat Ray Jamie Foxx stupid.
I'll take Jarhead Jamie Foxx over Legend of Bagger Vance Will Smith.
absolutcalm -- Judge Mathis is a dick. All TV judges are dicks.
Don't even get me started on Judge Mabelean. She made that fat model cry on Celebrity Fit Club.
Funny how that truth transcends court shows; reality TV judges are dicks too.
Dick or not, I love me some Judge Judy.
They're bound to be. Take the hubris of your average judge, and add fame. Presto: dick.
veejay -- approx. 100ml cerebrospinal fluid, 150ml blood, and 1000 grams dendritic cell bodies (i.e. gray matter). Oh yeah, and love - quantity not specified.
LOVE?!? Who's been messing with this thing?
Remind me never to ask you "what's goin' down".
Thank you. Next time my Significant Other asks me what's on my mind and I don't want to admit I was thinking about that squirrel on waterskiis, I'm pulling this one out.
observacious -- What will bobwhite be doing while his girlfriend watches the Super Bowl?
Thumping the Dummy.
Pretending to watch the game, but really wondering who's winning the Lingerie Bowl.
Counting how many times the commentators refer to the players as "warriors".
calamine_tea -- Why does my neighbor take painstakingly good care of herself through proper nutrition & suppliments yet goes home to chain smoke?
Everybody's gotta have a vice.
Because smoking rules. flick...click...aaaah
They go back and forth about whether or not eggs are good for you all the time. Smoking is due for a pendulum swing.
Good heath is a fad. Smoking is forever.
demoninmyskull -- ... are all signs that the end times are near.
Fat-free Calorie-free butter spray
The UPN/WB merger
That I actually saw one of the movies up for Best Picture this year
twicketface -- Futurama movies??? Could it really be true???
Movies? No. Movie? It could.
Most things, while improbable, are not impossible.
If the formula for the movie ends up being the same as the episodes, I'm going to have to watch it like 3 times to really find the funny in it.
With an hour and a half to fill, maybe Hermes will actually get some lines.
soarjubs -- If pooh smelled delicious, could the world ever be the same?
If it did, we'd all be sitting around tables shitting and then going in little rooms to eat.
The Fruity Soap industry would be all topsy-turvy.
We'd probably still have a pretty big Cholera problem.
Exactly the same. Except that "you smell like shit" would be a nice thing to say.
renob423 -- is there really a brand of AA battery that lasts longer than the others?
AA's I dunno. AAA's I know for sure it's Everlast.
Um, if Engergizer didn't last longer than the others, they couldn't really say that in the commercials now could they?
Not a one. This is why I'm confident in buying Venezuelen batteries at the Dollar Store.
There is, but I wouldn't necessarily call it a brand. Until they can be properly stabilized, they won't be on the market.
friendship7 -- Are you lucky?
If I say yes, I'm fucked. So No.
Depends. Are you feeling lucky?
Luck is a half-full/half-empty thing. Was I lucky when my hand got stuck in the blender? No. Am I lucky to have these three fingers left? Yes.
All in all, I'd say I am.
pooplord -- Does "cul de sac" really translate to "ass of bag"?
If "Le Enfant" means "the child" in French, were William Le Enfant and Billy the Kid the same person?
I spent a good portion of my life living on a cul de sac. With confidence, I can say yes.
Yes, but figuratively it means Bag of Ass.
It was William Levitt's big joke on suburbia - design streets that look like scrotums, and then call it a fancy-sounding French word that means nothing.
funboytim -- How do you talk to an angel?
With impeccable grammar.
In Portugese. Who knew?
I wouldn't try if I were you. It's an exercise in futility.
pantloadThis week, Steve Martin pulls down his drawers and blasts shit all over Peter Sellers and the perfectness that was the 70's Pink Panther series of movies. Name and cast another classic movie shit-blast remake.
The Shining, starring Adam Sandler, Dakotah Fanning, and Tina Fey.
Blazing Saddles, starring Chris Tucker and Will Farrell.
The Facts of Life (ok it's a TV Show), starring Brittany Murphy, Michelle Rodriguez, Brandy, and Kelly Osbourne. Featuring Queen Latifah as Mrs. Garrett.
Star Wars: A New Hope, starring Jake Ggyylleennhhaall, James Franco, and Mischa Barton.
Sure all of the following human quirks are annoying. But which one bothers you the most?
People who press the elevator button over and over as if the button regulates the elevator speed, or that maybe the button light went on, but the elevator really didn't get called.
People who have yet to master the smooth escalator-to-floor transition, but have to stop, and then stare at their feet waiting for the precise right moment to lift up their foot and wait for the escalator to place them on the floor.
People who notice that there are lines at 2 of the 3 registers, but fail to notice the CLOSED sign at the third, then huffily stomp up to the empty closed register and look all confused as to why their master plan didn't work out for them.
People who ignore "lane ends xxx feet merge left" signs and then park in the merge lane with their blinker on and a confused look. Palms-up shrug and exaggerated "I'm sorry" mimeing optional.