eideteker -- What is the greatest musical question of all time?
Beatles or Elvis?
Electric or Acoustic?
Did people actually think Elton John was straight?
If there are a finite number of music notes the human ear can hear, and a finite number of combinations of those notes, then is it possible that we can run out of music?
pooplord -- Why is Canadian Club whiskey so delicious with ginger ale?
Someone had to think of something to do with all those cans of ginger ale floating around in the cooler after barbeques.
After drinking it with milk, Canadian Club would seem delicious with anything.
Something's got to make Candadian Club delicious. May as well be ginger ale.
This is a trick question, isn't it?
coldblackncold -- Why is it so hard to find a good Long Island?
Too many bartenders forget the Triple Sec.
Properly mixing a five-alcohol cocktail must be like making napalm--something that's not usually done well by some kid who bought an instructional book on the internet.
It's the curse of the name. 99% of Long Island sucks, just like 99% of Long Island Iced Teas.
The average person doesn't know what's in it. Most bartenders are just average people who got in good with the manager or had the longest tenure of the waitstaff. Nobody goes to bartending school anymore.
renob423 -- do you read the questions and think up all the poll answers throughout the week, or on the spot on friday before the poll is posted? Answer: I think up and write the answers on Friday mornings. This often leads to late posting times, so if I remember to, I try to come up with some on Thursday night. Robocop vs. Megatron
bobwhite -- What is the most delicious Jelly Belly? (two parter)
bobwhite -- What is the most vile?
observacious -- 2/10 is Darwin Day. How are you celebrating?
Using my opposable thumb.
Rubbing my hairless chest.
Selectively weeding out the weakest of the population.
friendship7 -- Have you heard the one about the moron who went to the funeral with his fly down, only to have it pointed out by the staff upon exit?
No. Is the punchline a Stiff/Stiff or 2 stiffs sort of theme?
No. Is part of the joke about him getting a hard on at a funeral? That's kinda gross.
Uh, huhuhuhuhuhuh. Staff.
absolutcalm -- How do I escape this existential despair?
You don't. That's the gag. You think you're going to get out some day, shake it off and open up a burrito stand, but then the paycheck comes just in time to write your rent check and you realize, I can't pay my rent with burritos.
CLAW YOUR WAY TO THE TOP, BABY!
Three Words: Class. Action. Lawsuit.
Stop caring so much. Look around you at all those people spitting on the floor and accepting their own mediocrity. Do you think they suffer existential despair? They don't give a shit enough to have existential despair.
funboytim -- I need both a new stereo receiver and a new mattress. Which should I buy first?
Stereo Receiver: Who needs sleep when you've got Rock and/or Roll? Furthermore, if the tunes are rockin', the ladies won't notice the sagging mattress.
Mattress: With better sleep, you'll do better at work and be a better person all around and then christ I can't think of a good reason to pick mattress.
subbes -- Catnip. What the hell?
It's Kitty Pot. And just like People Pot, it makes some kitties all hyper and giggly, and others slow and stoned.
I can't blame them. I get the same effect when I smell fresh Vanilla Cake.
There's something skethcy about how it's legal. And why haven't we tried to use it for our own enjoyment?
Catnip is the Universal Equalizer for the vast disparity between cat and dog intelligence. Sure cats are smarter, but one whiff of that catnip and it's dogtime.
soarjubs -- Who flung dung?
MUNG FLUNG DUNG.
Wasn't he that Vietnamese guy who lived in our dorm?
Nobody on my watch, mister.
In honor of absolutcalm's recent promotion from Food Distribution Administrator to Cube Jockey, let us all think back to that happy time when we thought Office Space was an exaggerated comedy and Dilbert comics were funny because we thought they weren't true. Check all of the corporate mumbojumbo terms you have actually heard in your office:
Step on your toes
Wear the white hat
Action item/action agenda
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Check all of the smalltalk bullshit watercooler banter "jokes" you have actually heard your co-workers make:
Only 5 more days until Friday!
Look we're all wearing blue! Looks like we got the memo!
Staying late again? You should just put a bed in your cube!
Workin' hard or hardly workin'!
Just another day at the mill!
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