soarjubs -- What the hell is the deal with 95% of all bachelor's parties being stripper-free? Are stupid feminists winning the war against boobs?
Boobs, no. Masculinity, yes.
Maybe 95% of the guys you hang out with are candyasses.
Maybe 95% of the guys you hang out with are marrying feminists.
If you think this is going to fool us chicks into thinking guys don't see strippers at bachelor parties you're sorely mistaken.
clockwatcher -- What was maeincarnate's favorte part of her trip?
The Pirate Museum.
Swimming in the ocean.
That awesome French breakdancing dude.
All of the Above.
observacious -- Why must you flaunt your fabulous vacation plans?!
You know you would.
I flaunt my fabulousless all the time. The vacation was just incedental.
What's an LJ if it doesn't inspire jealousy in others?
You think I'm all Friday Polls and insipid mass transit anecdotes? What kind of one trick pony do you think I am?
absolutcalm -- How did YOU celebrate St. Patrick driving the protestants out of Ireland, and into the arms of a mostly german/english protestant nation?
10 Rosaries, 3 Our Fathers, and an Act of Contrition.
Just as St. Patrick Intended: I drank Miller Lite with green food coloring in it.
Chasing some Jehovah's Witnesses out of my neighborhood.
I woke up on the sidewalk with my vomit-covered shoes dangling in a sewer grate.
eideteker -- Superman, where are you now?
Fleshing out last minute edits on this week's installment of the Planet's basement Radon expose.
Kneeling before Zod.
Showing up the Flash.
calamine_tea -- Why are teenagers so annoying?
It's the only time in our lives we have the right, nay, the duty, to be unabashedly annoying. Being an annoying teenager prevents Quarter-Life Crises.
They think you're stupid.
They've probably got enough hormones to impregnate a women's basketball team and all they can get are hand jobs.
To make us realize that staring down the barrel of 30 isn't so bad after all.
funboytim -- How's that sunburn feeling there, Mae? [Little does Tim know, sun absorption and melanin release are my Mutant Abilities. With that in mind, what SPF did I use on the beach in the Bahamas?]
pooplord -- Why isn't there a Key East?
There is. They call it Puerto Rico.
There is. It's where Jimmy Buffet's curiously less-talented brother lives.
The double E sound just doesn't roll off the tongue as well.
I'm not sure, but I'd bet Cubans are to blame somehow.
twicketface -- What's the deal with MySpace?
Free music and freer hookups.
It's LJ for people who can't write.
I have no idea. I'm still trying to figure out Friendster.
It's an urban legend intended to terrify suburban mothers into keeping their children off the internet.
renob423 -- ok instead of all the insects attacking, what if only bees and hornets and yellow jackets attacked humans. who would win?
Or the Dogs with Bees in their mouths and when they bark, they shoot bees at you?
Humans would still win, but we'd all have puffy lips and rashes. And what kind of victory is that?
Humans. Not all people are allergic to bee stings, but all bees are allergic to a quick whap under a shoe.
Bees. But soon after their triumph, they would have to resort to making honey from human flesh, thus transforming them into zombees.
friendship7 -- What is the point of online applications if nobody ever reads them?
Did you get a job at absolutcalm
's company or something?
What the hell are you talking about?
Maybe they are reading them and you just don't qualify for whatever it is you're applying for.
In the digital age, there must be new outlets for beaurocracy to replace those jobs made obsolete by our move away from paper. Thus, online applications allow us to hire people to fix the forms and shit like that.
You may take one bag and one bag only from the Frito-Lay lunch chips variety pak: