rustnroses -- Are the Gods really crazy?
Yes. Well, every one except Hera. She's doing just fine, thank you.
Um, hello? Who drinks coke out of those glass bottles anymore?
Like shithouse rats.
The gods gave us kittens, Twinkies, and those bicycles from the 1800's with the huge front wheels. How dare you suggest they're crazy.
calamine_tea -- What do you believe to be true even though you cannot prove it?
If I open the refrigerator fast enough I will catch it before the light goes on.
That creepy zombie isn't Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson was taken by space aliens shortly after the release of Bad and is safe and black somewhere in the outer reaches of the galaxy.
The Blues Brothers 2000 does not exist. While it seems like a very real and tangible thing, it is merely the hallucinogenic embodiment of my deepest fears and anxieties.
If I scratch the roof of my car it will benefit my sex life in some fashion.
coldblackncold -- What is the Best Concept Album of all time?
The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders from Mars
Spaced Out: The Best of Leonard Nimoy and William Shatner
Sratch 'n' Sniff - The Candy Collection: All the candy-themed stickers you'd ever imagine!
Precious Wedding Memories: from the bride getting dressed to the car pulling all that crap in the end, it was a fantastic linear spectacle.
bobwhite -- Why did that guy's breath smell like piss?
His breath didn't smell like piss...why does the inside of your nose smell like piss?
He just kissed you didn't he?
Some people actually believe that drinking one's own urine is beneficial to them. Why? Wouldn't your body recognize it right away as that stuff it just got rid of? If someone dropped off yesterday's trash at my door, I wouldn't call it breakfast.
Somewhere, someone else is cackling quietly to themselves over how thoroughly they exacted revenge on him, and how he'll never ever know.
funboytim -- Dude, I've been married, so I know you don't have sex all the time. So, why do guys turn into such pussies about going out when they have "wives" and "new babies"?
They have found their mate and procreated. All ambition is lost.
They have found their mate and procreated. Their primal goal has been met. Any further social activity is futile.
They have found their mate and procreated. They no longer need to put any effort into masking their social anxieties.
They have found their mate and procreated. No need to remind themselves of their former lives.
eideteker -- What should I ask for for my birthday?
Some peace and goddamned quiet.
I always asked for Fish sticks and Mac & Cheese. At least for the "what do you want me to make you for your birthday dinner" part.
A good Friday Poll question. OH BRUNED!
subbes -- How huge an indictment of my character is it that I spent five minutes trying to think of a good poll question?
If writing a good question is a crime, let me be guilty.
Five minutes? Hell, I think about it all week.
Good poll questions make good polls. You spent that five minutes to benefit us all.
Hell, if only eideteker
spent some time thinking about his questions OH SNAP TWO IN A ROW!!!
soarjubs -- Who was coolest: Jack Burton, Snake Plisskin, or Tango? Why?
Jack Burton really shook the pillars of heaven. Snake Plissken expressed his freedom by lighting up a cig. And he technically failed at his biggest mission. Tango was cool, but had too many prison/shower scenes with Sly for me to be comfortable with him.
Snake Plisskin because only he could look cool using a 2 foot phone. Why not tango or Burton? Because they're not SNAKE fucking Plisskin.
I always thought Tango & Cash was about a cop and a dog. For that alone he loses. Jack defeated the God of Lightning, and Snake killed Chef. Well, technically The President killed Chef, but whatever.
twicketface -- Why aren't sitcoms funny anymore?
Hollywood isn't willing to take chances.
Hollywood isn't willing to let a program stay on the air long enough to develop style or characters.
Anyone smart enough to realize According to Jim isn't funny stopped watching network sitcoms a long time ago. The leftover mouthbreathers now make up 100% of the audience, giving the networks the skewed perception that everyone loves this shit.
They're whoring out every hack standup who ever made a clever observation to try to find the next Seinfeld. Seinfeld was a one-time thing, folks. It ain't happening again.
renob423 -- there is yet another star wars dvd comming out soon with some kind of original ending or editing or some such thing, how many more times are they gonna re issues these movies that are 30 years old and suck anyway? you're teetering on dangerous ground here, pal, but I'll let it slide.
They will released until nerds stop buying. What we love only destroys us.
What separates Lucas from artists is he doesn't know when to stop.
Well, you see, 1977 technology didn't allow him to have realistic giant slugs. Are we supposed to be afraid of the Irish? Seriously.
It doesn't matter. Maybe when that bloated douche dies his children will be greedy enough to go against his wishes and finally give us what we want. Han shooting first.
absolutcalm -- 7th Heaven is going off the air-- which of the Camden Kids will be the worst off in 5 years? Ok, I don't know thing one about 7th Heaven other than the less attractive Duff sister is on it and it's about Mormons or something. Let's turn WB dramas into pornos.
7th Heaven: When their new homeschool tutor arrives, fresh and buff from Dartmouth, the Camden sisters will do anything to him, themselves, or each other to shake off the years of repression under their father's strict Christian upbringing.
The Gilmore Girls: A single mom teaches her daughter a few lessons about the ways of men, the world, and men.
Everwood: Eeh, too easy.
One Tree Hill: One tree, thick and sturdy. You think you can climb it, little girl?
friendship7 -- Is Pearl Jam worth 70 bucks at this point?
If they're playing a venue no larger than a Burger King and you get to hang out with them afterwards with Eddie's sworn promise he won't speak, then yes.
Funny how a band who was so vehemently against ticket price gouging would be charging so much.
You're implying they ever were worth 70 bucks.
Sure, Ten was great. And they even nailed a single or two since then. But come on. The ship? She has sailed.
I was thinking as I looked at this picture that the whole Scientology thing has got to be a joke. I know actors and Hollywood types are emotionally stunted, but come on.
Like the old Carol Burnett ear tug, it's their little way of sending messages to each other.
Actors know we think they're stuipd, so they've come up with Scientology as a way to get back at us. You thinkwe're stupid? You dipshits actually think this is real.
This is what happens when you surround yourself with yessmen and hangers on: nobody will tell you you're wrong, stupid, foolish, or otherwise. And now it's just gotten out of hand.
Since they can't escape the intrusive eye of the paparazzi, they created this bizzare fantasty as an impenetrable sanctuary of the mind. Layfolk want to know what and how celebrities think. If they tell us they belive this stuff, maybe we'll stop asking.