clockwatcher -- what is a web shooter?
That thing the Apes used to take down Taylor.
A way better job title than Webmaster.
PETER PARKER IS A GIFTED SCIENCE GENIUS PEOPLE. KEEP YOUR MODERNIZED DNA STORIES OUT OF MY FREAKING COMICS.
eideteker -- What do you want to be when you grow up?
coldblackncold -- What about that other time?
That was awesome.
Oh yeah, with the thing? Totally.
absolutcalm -- It's time for a New Smurfs (Smurves?) series-- so, considering our Paris Hilton loving, Gossip eating, vapid nation, what should the new Smurfs be named?
Teacup Chihuaha Smurf.
twicketface -- Best movie sequel of all time? In the interest of brevity, these will be limited to second-movie sequels only.
Back to the Future 2.
lgdizko -- Do people actually care about how long they have to wait at an airport if there is a bar nearby? Drink a beer and shut the hell up!! hehe. Also, if you are a guy and you fit into women's size 8 is that too skinny? I'd call this a twofer, but the answer to the second question is a resounding Yes.
Yeah, no kidding. Stuff it in your jerk face.
Funny how I'll moan about paying more than $5 for a pack of cigarettes, but I'll buy a $9 glass of wine at an airport bar just for the privilege of smoking one.
When the wait is airport-wide, I dare you try and get a seat at that bar.
If I wanted to sit around and drink beer, I wouldn't be at an airport.
calamine_tea -- If I ever get to Rome and everyone is smoking Crack, does the whole "when in Rome" rule still apply?
I believe this phrase originated with allowing one's self to partake in some of Rome's more infamous yet generally frowned upon pastimes (i.e. boy-fucking, random-stranger-fucking, animal-fucking, et al). Crack ain't got nuthin' on Rome.
If everyone is smoking crack, I'd say the whole "when in Baltimore" rule is in effect.
No need to go to Rome. You can smoke crack in the comfort of your neighbor's backyard.
Crack is wack, yo.
renob423 -- would you rather fuck a monkey or sheep?
Monkey. While the lack of opposable thumbs does hinder certain things, the extra set of hands makes for nice gropin'.
Sheep. Just the right level for the old pump 'n' dump.
I am a wuss who is scared to answer the icky questions.
soarjubs -- Despite being cancelled, is Mr. Belvedere a threat to our existence on a pan-dimensional level?
While the entire Mr. Belvedere program may not be a threat, Bob Uecker sure is.
Absolutely. What do you think caused the whole reality TV thing? In a parallel dimension, Mr. Belvedere lives on, and no one knows who Richard Hatch is.
While an ominous threat indeed, the ambivalence of Mr. Belvedere remains just that. All talk, no walk, in the existential sense.
That which is done cannot be undone. Our feeble attempt at "cancelling" Mr. Belvedere has turned what could have been a mere pastime into a genuine cosmic imbalance.
observacious -- What colorful and unnecessary "seasonal" item would most enhance my summer experience?
Margarita glasses with cactus stems.
Three words: Budweiser Beach Towel.
Novelty plastic refreezeable ice cubes.
One of those visors with a little fan built in.
friendship7 -- Is it the weekend of drinking like I'm 19 or the "lactose free" (read: bullshit) ice cream that is ruining my life right now?
Little column A, little column B.
Mmmm. Bullshit Ice Cream.
It's your attempt to juxtapose drinking like a 19 year-old and snacking like a 79 year-old that's ruining your life. Make up your mind, dude.
Underage drinking is a crime, no matter how old you are. You deserve it.
htothem -- Why does it burn when I pee, Charlie Brown?
We all know Lucy's "Psychiatric Help" stand is just a front.
Spend all night hanging out in that field and you're bound to get a case of the Great Pumpkin.
We only call her the Little Red Haired Girl to her face. Behind her back she's the Little Red Coozed Girl.
Come on. You should have known better than to go barefoot with Pigpen.
Since I'm becoming a crochety old sombitch, the following thoughts pass my mind more often than I'd care to admit:
I don't know what those kids think they're proving with their fashion statements and scenster bullshit.
I am NOT behaving like my mother.
I dunno...that doesn't look very safe.
I just can't get that worked up about the little things anymore.
I think I threw out my back.
Omigod, look at that child driving that car!
It's really kind of late in the day for that.