Item the first: I GOT A NEW JOB! Yes, the soul-crushing days at my current place of employment will come to an end on June 16.
One of my sister-in-law's co-workers had moved into a new position, and she told his former supervisor about me and how I'd be a great fit for the vacant spot. I went in and interviewed a few weeks ago. The interview went great, but at the end, she says that while she thinks I'm a fantastic employee and would make a great fit at the association, the position I was interviewing for was not the right one for me and that she'd sell me to another VP on a job he was hiring for that is better paid and higher level. I met with him a week or so later and that interview ended with "you'll definitely be hearing from me. I'm very impressed."
I got the job, the better title, and even negotiated for more money. Essentially, I have already gotten a promotion and a raise from this place and I haven't even started working there.
I could hear my new boss grinning over the phone when I took the job, and he told me how I am the missing piece in his team and can't wait to get started. I was hoping to take a week off between jobs, and had cooked up a fib on how to ask for it. When I told him I wanted to start on the 26th, he said "oh good. I was worried you'd want to start on the 19th, but we'll be out of the office all that week at a conference. The 26th is perfect". I didn't even have to use my line.
I gave my notice at my current job on Friday afternoon. The Chief Operating Officer nearly shit himself. He said he wished he could say he didn't see it coming, but he knew I wasn't happy and had been ready to leave for a while. As I had been saying to potential employers on my interviews, it was hard for me as a process/procedure/results-driven worker to thrive in an Underpants Gnome environment. My attempts at creating manuals and deadlines and schedules was interpreted as being rigid, and when I showed impatience with the "let's have a meeting to discuss when we can have a meeting to maybe start thinking about what we might do about this thing that may or may not happen" method of working, I was told I have a bad attitude.
I could go on and on about the bullshit here, the past few months especially, but I'll sum it up thustly: the negative mark on my last performance review is that I have a low tolerance for mistakes.
All of the co-workers I have told have been happy for me, but still sad to see me go. I had gotten so worried that by not having chosen a "profession" by now I had doomed myself to be an Office Monkey forever. I do pretty much everything around here, mostly because I'm the only one willing to try it out, and I became depended upon as the person to bring things to when it needed to be done fast, right, and without bitching. It turns out while that job may not really have a title, every office needs one. And bad. The other two places I was interviewing for panicked when they found out I was actively looking, and swore they'd move faster than usual to get me hired. It felt great to be pursued, it felt amazing to hear my new boss' excitement when I agreed to work for him.
To end on a spiteful note, I've been scrambling around for the past few days to get ready for these conferences I'm running Wednesday and Thursday, and every time I'd do one of those little things that nobody else has bothered to learn, all I could think was "they are so fucked". Maybe that's why my soon-to-be-former-boss has been giving me the silent treatment all day, but what do I care. I'm off to San Diego to run those events at one of the highest rated resort spas in the country from tomorrow until Friday. I can't think of a better way to spend half of my two weeks' notice.