observacious -- While bobwhite's away observacious will...?
spend the weekend in her jammies watching all films starring Kid or Play.
6(37.5%)
get a head start on her Christmas shopping, with a visit to Target.
5(31.2%)
just for giggles & shits, get drunk on Molson, eh?
2(12.5%)
aybe-may isit-vay an ew-fay useums-may.
3(18.8%)
absolutcalm -- Which is the most disgustingly cute and deserving to die: Ewoks, Mogwai's, Furbies or little asians adoptees?
Ewoks. The beginning of the end. We would have been more malicious, but we were just kids. WE DIDN'T KNOW.
3(17.6%)
Mogwais. ... uh...I can't think of a reason Mogwais have to die. They're all cute and frolicky and drive Barbie cars.
3(17.6%)
Furbies. But not because they're cute. Those things are freaky-creepy weird and they gots to go.
7(41.2%)
Little Orphan Asian. They don't deserve to die, but they will. Lonely and in the pound with all the passé teacup Chihuahuas in L.A.
4(23.5%)
eideteker -- If you were going to be a celebrity, would you be a one-named celebrity (e.g. Madonna, Prince, Topol), and here I thought it was just a smokers' toothpaste or a three-named celebrity (e.g. David Lee Roth, Anna Nicole Smith, Edward James Olmos)?
One-name. Everybody would wonder, "what's their last name?" or "is that short for something" or think that I've transcended the traditional naming conventions and achieved a singular "essence" of self, therefore boosting my own celebrity.
1(5.9%)
Three-name. That way I could pull a John Cougar Mellencamp whenever I needed to freshen myself up for a new image or reinsert myself in the public eye.
16(94.1%)
renob423 -- would you feel insulted if someone bought you a thasarus for x-mas? I'll pass on the too-easy "How about a dictionary" joke here.
I would. I would also feel peeved, irritated, hurt, offended, shunned and vexed.
1(5.9%)
No. I like big words, but I can't ever think up good ones for stuff.
3(17.6%)
I might feel mildly rebuffed, but would nevertheless be grateful for their altruism.
3(17.6%)
Insulted? No. Annoyed? Yeah. What do I need a hard copy of a thesaurus for? There's dozens of free ones on the internet. Shit, give me a phone book while you're at it.
10(58.8%)
soarjubs -- Ping wah, kuwi kai wah -boh- Ping WOH, kuwi tho mien? (Hua?)
Yes. One large Sweet and Sour Chicken, an order of Spring Rolls, and Egg Drop Soup.
6(37.5%)
Wah, wah. WOH wai watusi.
1(6.2%)
Campbell! I didn't realize you spoke Cantonese!
4(25.0%)
Take it easy there, Charlie. I didn't mean it like that.
5(31.2%)
friendship7 -- Last night upon sitting down at a local watering hole to have a beer or ten, a woman quickly sauntered up to me and asked me if my name was Marty. Her name was...
Jennifer. And she's your density.
4(25.0%)
Had you been in New Jersey, I'd have guessed Lisa.
1(6.2%)
I have no idea and neither do you. Ten bucks says the next line in this conversation was "No? Oh, sorry. You look just like a guy named Marty I know."
9(56.2%)
Also Marty, oddly enough. She's been digging around the bar scene hoping to score herself a Paris/Paris scenario.
2(12.5%)
From Evan, inspired by this article: Is farting a legitimate response to a question?
Fart? No. Burp? Yes.
4(22.2%)
It's how we know grandpa liked his dinner. Whether we ask or not.
0(0.0%)
Yeah, but I wouldn't try it on the SAT's or anything like that. Farts never translate well onto a scantron.
2(11.1%)
Yes, but only to a select few questions, such as "would you like any more cheese?", "wait, did you hear that?", and "why should I pull your finger?"
12(66.7%)
Proper TP roll orientation:
Pull down; clockwise.
16(94.1%)
Pull up; counterclockwise.
1(5.9%)
happy