chaoticgoodnik -- I read Deadspin. How guilty should this make me feel?
Somewhere between The Client and The Da Vinci Code.
Less guilty than I feel for exchanging my nightly reading for nightly DS playing.
If you got it at an airport or at a hospital gift shop or something, not guilty at all. If you just love legal thrillers, then you should feel very, very guilty.
That depends...am I supposed to feel guilty for not having ever heard of it?
coldblackncold -- Why would you write in black or blue when you can write in poo?
So that's what they mean when it says you have to use a #2.
Just because you're able to do something, doesn't mean it's something you should do.
That's one way to make it worse if your pen should explode all over you.
Until there is a pen filled with poo, black or blue will have to do.
absolutcalm -- Best Euphamism for female masturbation: GO!
Speedbagging the bean.
Flicking the button.
Cleaning the fish.
Buffin' the Muffin.
observacious -- Kathleen Marshall said she's concerned that viewers of "You're The One That I Want" won't choose winners with the skills to star in a Broadway show. She wants triple-threats (people who can act, sing, and dance). What will the American public give her?
A hot chick who has learned from years of exposure to other reality competitions that "singing" is just going "waaahowahowhoaaaahohohwahoooh" any time you hold a note longer than two beats.
A guy who can method the hell out of telling his buddies about his summer girlfriend that none of them met before she moved back to Australia.
Nick and Jessica.
The long overdue wakeup call that nobody really gives a shit about Broadway musicals outside of New York.
htothem -- Could Pacey Whitter beat up Jordan Catalano in a fight? The answer is yes. The question becomes How would Pacey Whitter beat up Jordan Catalano in a fight?
Stumped and slackjawed, Jordan Catalano gets a knuckle sandwich after failing to respond to Pacey's "If you don't want to get suckerpunched, tap your foot three times" sign.
While Jordan Catalano is doing one of his patented leans, Pacey smashes his head in the locker. Then he nails his teacher to get out of detention.
Pacey is driving his knee into Jordan Catalano's kidney for the seventh time, and suddenly Tino shows up out of nowhere and kicks the crap out of Pacey. But Pacey still beat up Jordan Catalano.
Pacey grabs Jordan Catalano by his whiny 1994 hair, punches him in the face, and says he's tired of mopey dipshits taking the nice girl for granted. Then he nails Angela Chase out of principle.
renob423 -- what is the 1st movie you ever saw as a little kid that scared the living shit outta you?
Clash of the Titans.
The Thriller Video.
eideteker -- You're stranded on a desert island in the middle of nowhere with a celebrity. Which celebrity do you choose to optimize your chances of survival, if you must choose from 1990's celebrities?
Marion Barry. Maybe it's not survival, but I'd rather spend a few days on a desert island in a cracked-out haze than spending months or years eating rats and palm leaves.
Amy Fisher. No animal would go unhunted (see also: Tonya Harding, Lorena Bobbit).
Monica Lewinsky. She spends all day with hog in her mouth but food supplies never seem to diminish.
RuPaul. Um, he's really tall so there'd be plenty of coconuts.
clockwatcher -- Do you want those other two items you listed as not receiving? No, I don't want either. Correctly identify the pair of reasons why.
I'm more of a Little Twin Stars Girl/The avocado corer doesn't exist, I just made that up.
I already have Hello Kitty Pants/As much as I love silly kitchen gadgets, even I know one as specific as an avocado corer is frivolous.
I have more silly character-themed pajama pants than any human would ever need/I don't like Avocados.
Hello Kitty is for cheerleaders and the Japanese/I had an avocado corer and it was way more trouble to use than just cutting up an avocado.
subbes -- Is it really Friday already?
In fact it is. And we still don't know who won This or That.
Don't worry. The weekend will be over soon enough.
You have uncovered my secret yet complicated plan to make about 15 seemingly random people inexplicably miss work on the same day.
So this is what the mailroom guy says to you every morning in Bizarro World.
calamine_tea -- Why does my dad still insist on typing his emails in all caps even though I have told him numerous times that it is yelling?
Everybody starts off on the internet at the 1995 level of skill, etiquette, and fascination with forwards. Depending on how long he's been emailing you, he should get to 1999 soon enough.
WHY DO YOU HAVE TO BE SO PICKY? MAYBE HE'S JUST NOT A VERY GOOD TYPER AND IT'S EASIER FOR HIM NOT TO HAVE TO HIT THE SHIFT KEY ALL THE TIME.
If our parents stopped doing the little annoying things that drive us completely insane, they wouldn't be our parents.
For the same reason my mom doesn't believe she snores: you're just a bitch who likes to pick on your parents.
soarjubs -- What is the best part about being a Dracula/Wolfman/ComboDraculaWolfman?
Any time you might normally waste being a regular human you have to spend sealed up in a coffin.
I dunno, but the worst part would be shredding out of your nice tuxedo every month or so.
The monthly animalistic blood binges would really help you through the leaner times.
With such inherent diversity and such a wide variety of skills, any monster gang would be crazy not to have you as a member.
I have decided that today I'm switching my primary email from hotmail to gmail. I realize I'm about 2 years behind on this, and was thinking how I'm often slow to pick up on trends such as this (i.e., I was also one of the last of my friends to get a cell phone). Which of the following were you (or your family) late on?
Video game console.
Home internet (first time connection).
Switching from dialup to broadband.
Switching from VHS to DVD.
Switching from cassettes to CDs.
Switching from CDs to mp3s.
Dropping the land line (that would be a good pooping euphemism).
Other (in comments).