renob423 -- who gave dr. richard stone his kidney?
So that's why they call them kidney stones.
Someone in Tijuana who stole them out of the back of a guy who woke up in a tubful of ice.
An Organ Donor? I dunno.
Okay, I knew this one - it was Martin.
popespydie -- if monkeys cleaned windows and chinchillas cleaned floors, what do the foxes do?
Is this some sort of racist fable? If so, shouldn't the chinchillas be mowing the lawn?
Foxes don't do anything that would muss up their pretty little paws.
Make fantastic coats bad dum dum
eideteker -- Would you buy furniture from a store called "Unpainted Huffhines"?
Christian Dior, my butt! Do people actually pay money for these things?
I would assume a store called Unpainted Huffhines sold unpainted huffhines. I don't know what huffhines are, let alone why you wouldn't paint them.
Why not? No other furniture store name could be more ridiculous than "Ikea".
Definitely. I need unpainted furniture, I need it now, and I need it cheap.
absolutcalm -- I like that whole ImagiNext Dinosaur thing. What other progressive social causes could be championed by completely inappropriate toy lines (what would they be)?
Fisher Price's Little People University Playset: Will you be able to find enough qualifyable minorities to fill your quota this semester? Who will get the last dorm room, Allison, Brad, or Aiesha?
Fill up Optimus Prime and the Autobots with clean burning ethanol and you can lead the charge for the good of humanity against the evil, oil-dependent Decepticons!
In Elmo's World, everybody can love each other! Nobody says you can't love somebody, because telling people who they can love makes them sad! Elmo knows sometimes daddies love daddies and mommies love mommies because that's what love is!
The Bratz girls have a hard choice ahead of them, but it's a choice that's theirs to make because their bodies are their own business, not some political playground. With Bratz, you get the right to choose!
pooplord -- Is knowledge really power?
It's not what you know; it's who you know.
It's not what you know; it's how you know it.
It's not what you know; it's how you wield it against others.
It's not what you know; it's how big your modifier is.
observacious -- What happened to the Confederate camels?
It's more commonly referred to as a "pack of cigarettes".
They renamed the team mascot to the Gamecocks.
After that one big hit, nobody really heard of them. They were supposed to go on tour with Flock of Seagulls a while back, but then their singer showed up on Surreal Life.
subbes -- Why are my boyfriend's slippers in his car?
They really take "business casual" seriously at his office.
As uncomfortable as women's shoes are to walk in, you would be amazed at how uncomfortable men's shoes are to drive in.
Probably for the same reason his floor mats are under the bed. That's where they go.
He was having a fat foot day.
friendship7 -- What is the best way to let someone know that they consistently smell like rotten carcass and plaque?
There isn't. While it's probably better for everyone involved (stinker included), it can't be done.
"Ugh. Man, I really reek today. I guess I forgot to put my deo on or something. Christ. Don't you hate it when you do that?"
Tell HR and make them do it.
"Okay, you're gonna hate me for this. Seriously, you are, and I totally understand if you never want to talk to me again but I can't take it anymore and you probably should know anyway..."
From Evan: I want new monster-based cereals.
Wolfman's Nard-o's. Packed with all the protein and vitamin E you need for a healthy breakfast!
Grudge-umms. So much crunch, your jaw will fall off!
Frosted Mini Witches. The wheat side is wholesome and Wiccan. The frosted side is spooky and Halloweeny.
Zombierry Morning. You'll love the eye-popping burst of flavor in every yogurt-covered raisin "eyeball"!
New York wants to ban the use of iPods while walking in public because a few people have been stupid enough to kill themselves walking in front of cars recently. I don't need to get into how terrifying this is, let alone asinine. What's an actual reasonable solution here?
Force anyone who publicly supports this to wear a suit of bubble wrap at all times.
Remove any criminal liability for striking a pedestrian who can be proven to have been listening to music at the time of the accident.
Force iPod-listening pedestrians who are struck by cars to perform hours of customer service relative to the amount of damage their body caused to the driver's car.
In the case of death, allow the driver to sue the family of the listener for the emotional distress caused by the deceased for killing themselves with the driver's car.
With the use of aggressive hip marketing, repopularize the Ghetto Blaster.
How lame is it that I woke up early on my vacation day to finish and post the Friday Poll?
If by lame you mean "Awesomely Committed to Comedy and the Friday Wellbeing of Others", then yes, it was very lame of you.