coldblackncold -- Mickey has submitted a question and a set of answers. This is risky territory, but I'm feeling generous today. If you were in charge of the universe, which movie would you alter time and space to make sure got made:
COMING TO AMERICA (Starring Murphy, Hall, Jones, and the Marx Brothers) (cbac note: Imagine Groucho playing the Landlord and McDowell. Delicious!) I can picture Groucho in the hot tub, but that's about the extent of it.
Rocky VII: Adrian's Revenge It is Rocky V + Rocky II, after all.
GIGLI. An Ed Wood Joint
ESCAPE FROM KHAN'S TOMB: MI6 sends 007 to Outer Mongolia to rescue American archeologist, Dr. Henry "Indiana" Jones, Jr. from the Soviet Gulag Be sure to bend time back far enough to when at least one of these guys can have casual sex in the movie.
sirrani -- Little girl gets a game console for her 3rd birthday. What does this say about the future of America?
Ender's Game is becoming eerily prescient.
They better figure out a cure for obesity, stat.
Completely non-invasive surgery is less than a generation away.
Children will continue to become more perceptive, with better eye-hand coordination, attention to detail, and quicker reflexes with every passing year.
observacious -- Assuming that most fans will be buying the Star Wars Express Mail Envelope Three-Pack specifically for Vader and/or Yoda, what is the likely fate of all those Anakin envelopes? I'm going to trust that at some point it was supposed to be Anakin but they changed it to Obi-Wan this week, because:
They know everybody hates the new movies and if they're going to have to cowtow them, at least let it be Ewan-Wan.
If you're going to be asking a nerdly Star Wars question in this crowd, you better be able to tell Anakin and Obi-Wan apart.
The SA Goons organized a mass vote campaign to make the third one Admiral Akbar and won, but the Post Office didn't have the balls to go through with it.
Anakin...Obi-Wan...like Star Wars dorks are going to mail these things. It could have been that devil guy from the cantina and the sets would remain intact.
eideteker -- DS or PSP? (All the guys at work have PSPs, but I've always been something of a rebel)
PSP...PSP...Oh, you mean the Liberty City Stories Machine?
renob423 -- who is the biggest rockstar asshole you can think of and why?
Dave Navarro for ruining the Red Hot Chili Peppers.
Lars Ulrich. I blame him for all of the asshole Metallica things because his fugly gross plate face makes me angry.
Bono. Your music was never all that good. Maybe you should take some time off from playing Ghandi and practice a bit.
Shit, I can't think of any rock stars at all, let alone ones I really have opinions on. Well, other than Kid Rock, but I just hate him because of his nostrils and that he wears bad clothes and his hair looks like it smells bad.
clockwatcher -- do you think people who don't look at all like their my space picture ( i.e. looking really hot when they are really a dork) think they actually look like their myspace picture?
It may not look like my physical being, but that picture captures my true essence in a way all other pictures have failed to.
Of course I don't look like my hot myspace picture. I have to walk around every day looking fat and ugly; why can't I enjoy one place in the world where I can be hot?
Hey, it's me so it looks like me. I don't care if it was a lighting fluke or a weird angle or what, that's me and that's what I look like, even if I don't look like that all the time.
If everybody else is posting their hottest pictures, why should I have to post a less hot picture just because I'm not that hot? If the B-'s are posting their A+ pictures, why should D's like me only shoot for a C-?
absolutcalm -- I just got done watching an awesomely angsty Alanis Moresette cover of "My Humps." I recommend it wholeheartedly. Could there possibly be a better trend in music than taking pop songs and completely changing their tone?
A weekly clip show featuring scenes from reality shows reenacted by classically trained stage actors. You said music? Crap. Well this would be awesome anyway.
The repopularization of the Moog.
If pop musicians were to start embracing their own ridiculousness and wear Flock of Seagulls-style hairdos and whatnot, maybe the rest of us could join in on the fun.
Start releasing singles by the Bratz dolls and Barbie and stuff to show there doesn't even have to be a human behind it for the masses to swallow this stuff whole. All the marketing potential; no fears of accidental overdoses or paparazzi beaver pics.
Aaaah...1983. When black men could be cool without being threatening.
Let's not be distracted from the background glory of the blonde in the peg-rolled jeans with the belted T-shirt, or the white guy in the maroon velour jogging suit with matching Kangol hat.
And to think, I used to consider the start of Soul Train as the Saturday Morning indicator it was time to stop watching TV and go outside.
friendship7 -- A turbodork verbalized "pwned" at work last week. Ignoring the fact that I instantly knew what he said, what would you say after hearing this very 1998 bastardization in the office?
The world is being geekified. If you didn't know what pwned meant, you probably would never have found your way onto Livejournal.
"Mad props on the badical pwnage."
Whatever, n00b. Pwned is still relevant.
htothem -- What should I train the monkeys to do?
That thing where they touch their buttholes and sniff their finger and fall over.
Rub their chins in pantomime thought before they respond to your questions.
To dance The Monkey, of course. Whenever they hear ringtones or something like that.
I dunno about training them, but you've GOT to put them in clothes as often as possible.
From Evan: How come I can't get no Tang 'round here?
Growing boys love Tang.
The conclusions of the Tang experiments on the astronauts concluded that the beverage is unfit for this level of gravity.
Tang has no place in this Not-From-Concentrate/Pre-Mixed/All-Natural/Bottled Water/On-the-Go time we live in.
AIDS. Ever since sex could result in death, it seemed uncouth to start your day with a mouthful of refreshing, anonymous Tang.
In honor of Evan's birthday, of all his awesome qualities, which of these four is the most awesome?
He does a dead-on-balls Brock Samson voice.
He can instantly tell you the damage roll of a Magic Missile at any caster level.
For some reason he doesn't like the best gummi bear flavor (clear) so he saves them and gives them to me.
He has that bizarre Fred Flinstone ability to put a chicken wing in his mouth and pull out a perfectly clean bone.