renob423 -- "well son, a funny thing about regret is that it's better to regret something you have done than something you havn't. and by the way if you see your mom this weekend, be sure and tell her SATAN!!!!"
Last time I went to the dentist, the cleaning lady was jamming that pik thing into my gum and just pulling up. She didn't understand why I got pissed, and said since she hadn't drawn blood yet she wasn't doing anything wrong. Cunt.
There was a girl in the elevator yesterday who kept nervously babbling about how she's going to hell because she wanted to go to happy hour instead of her grandmother's retirement party. It took willpower not to beat her with my umbrella.
Seriously, if you still have to go up to Edit and pull down the menu to click on "Copy" or "Paste", just give up now.
I don't care what anyone says, apple juice is superior to all other juices, including orange juice, and its sort of "supporting juice" role is unfair and unwarranted.
coldblackncold -- Are people still trying to "Free Tibet"? Boy, I guess the Beastie Boys sure showed China.
Who needs those crusty old zombies' pet causes when you've got ball cancer bracelets?
China was all like "Free my ass. How about you hasbeens focus on making a decent album for a while? Clearly you're incapable of being both musicians and activists at the same time. Priorities, guys."
They realized maybe it's offensive to people who have suffered starvation and famine because of oppression that the champions of their cause malnourish themselves on purpose when they have all the wealth and food they could want.
Free Tibet? No War For Oil? Bad Cop No Donut? Oh man, I just love bumper stickers and the funny things they say.
absolutcalm -- Who is the best of the bad ass movie anti-heroes-- who might be gay?
Alex de Large. (Clockwork Orange)
Wolverine. Or is it just because Hugh Jackman is such a blazing queen that I'm confused?
eideteker -- What percentage of doors, worldwide, have locks?
100% of the ones people want to get into.
I dunno but I only have keys for about 0.00000000000000000047% of them.
Who cares? All that matters is what percentage of doors have those side-bar handle things that velociraptors can just pop open and come get you.
They're lucky to even have doors in most of the loser countries, so I'm guessing it's pretty high - something like 30%. Even those little bathroom door locks count, and again, how can you have a bathroom door when you don't have a bathroom?
soarjubs -- Hello internet Americans. Would you like me make sweet, sweet penis to you?
stick it in kthnx
olsen idea tusk.dear wealth vend vella accra ibid. newman groan greet jason spume adopt lamar veil. kepler ooze. ? agleam olive.
You're never going to get a guest shot on To Catch a Predator talking like that.
I will spreading my sturdy thigh for you to give me sweet penis.
subbes -- Is my new-found interest in home decor turning me into an insufferable hipster, or just a Stepford Suburbanite?
At least this hipster trend won't make you fat like the gourmet foodie thing or stain your teeth like the "everybody's a sommelier" craze.
Because our generation is still convinced we're fresh, independent youths even as we near or enter our 30s, we have to pretend nesting is the new hipster thing to do. In 20 years the hipster trends are gonna be menopause and enlarged prostates.
Seeing as most hipsters blithely do whatever they think they're supposed to as hipsters, I don't think the idea of a Stepford Hipster is all that unfathomable.
Eeh, what's the difference. You're getting some nice furniture out of the deal.
From Evan: What's the deal with rednecks backing into parking spaces? Not just their stupid huge redneck trucks but their regular cars too?
Generations of North Carolina moonshine runners have parked that way to make it more difficult to see their license plate and it spread.
They need to be able to enter the chaos should a spontaneous monster truck rally erupt in the parking lot.
So we can get a better view of the sweet bra they put on their IROC.
If they park forward, they may have to wait to back out at the end of the day while tons of people are leaving. If they back in now, everyone else has to wait for them. See the genius there?
In order to maximize growth potential systemwide, we need to embark up on strategic efforts as a group to give us the forward momentum we need to achieve the optimal end-goal. Thoughts?
If we can pull back and look at this from 30,000 feet, we can identify the brightlines of our existing endeavors and vet them against the new initiatives.
We should vertically integrate our e-commerce solutions for the new millennium.
I'm hearing a lot of "we" speak rather than "you" speak in this dialogue, and I think that sort of team cooperation will be integral in really knocking this one out of the park.
Short term, we need to knock heads and see what everyone's got on their plates. We don't stress the tolerance level of anyone's workload. In order to make a profound impact on the marketplace, we have to synergize all of our resources and ideas.
Yesterday, my co-worker buddy asks me if I have the link to some survey we sent out and said he needed me to send it to a few people and I agreed. A few minutes later, I get an email from him addressed to me, the three people, and my boss asking me to forward the link on to the group. Dick move: true or false?