The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight

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It's Interactive Story Time!

Last week's poll contained a series of questions describing the ridiculous exchange that resulted from my selling a massage chair cushion thing on Craigslist. Evan's stepfather's mom had given it to Evan's uncle, the uncle never used it and when we mentioned we were going to buy one of these at Bed Bath and Beyond, he gave it to us with the stepgrandmother's blessing, who was happy to see it get used. I assume she got it on QVC, since that was the only place on the intarnets that had a photo of it. I was happy enough to throw it away, but gave it a shot on Craigslist and got a response within an hour.

The opening emails were normal enough, establishing location and pickup times and such. When I told the lady which metro stops I was near, she wrote back saying one was convenient and would meet me there at 7am. I'll be damned if I'm at the metro at 7, so I tell her the afternoon is better. She says she can't do the afternoon since she uses a vanpool to get home, but could drive into work one day and meet me at my house at 7am, since she has to be at work at 7:45. I say as long as she doesn't mind me being in my pajamas, that's fine by me. She said she's thinking of coming the following morning, buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut....

Question #1. She was not sure if the next day or next few days would be good for her because: It was supposed to rain either Tuesday or Wednesday and she doesn't drive in the rain. Point: shit, nearly everybody. turkishturki, subbes, twicketface, chaobell, darkymoore, eideteker, renob423, absolutcalm, friendship7.

I say yes that's fine, and in her next email, she asks if I will plug it in and show her it works before she buys it. No problem, happy to do it. We finally agree to last Friday morning at 7am for the exchange, and I tell her to call me from the end of the street so I can come up and meet her.

7:05 she calls, lost. She wasn't sure how she'd be able to tell me where she is since she didn't know. I suggested she give me a few landmarks, and it turned out she made a common mistake at my exit, and wasn't far off.

Question #2. She then told me she would be another 10 minutes or so because: She didn't have any cash on her to pay me the $20, and had to stop at an ATM. Point: turkishturki, chaobell, kadi, coldblackncold.

What's even more curious is that she didn't ask for any ATM, but a Bank of America one. I said there was one a mile or so up the road, but there were probably others between here and there. Closer to 15 minutes later, she called saying she was turning on to the street, and I went to the lobby to meet her. She called again about three minutes after that in a panic that she didn't know where she'd be meeting me but she was in the driveway of my building. I told her to turn around and look at the door and I'd be the one standing there with a great big black chair pad.

There was a sofa in the lobby with a plug near it, so I was able to demonstrate the working condition of the item without inviting this moron into my home. I plugged the adapter in, but was fumbling around with the back of the cushion to find the jack. I remembered this taking a long time when Evan and I plugged the cushion in the first time, and thought this one stuck zipper was the problem. She eventually ran out to her car to get a pair of scissors to cut the little band holding the zipper together, and as soon as I cut it off, I realized the jack was conveniently located on the on/off handle switch thing. Plug it in, and vroom, the pad is vibrating and the shiatsu balls are chugging.

Question #3. After I apologized for forgetting where it was, she said: "You made me late, wasted my time." Point: friendship7 and renob423.

She collected the stuff, tossed a $20 at me, and nearly forgot the AC adapter she ran out the door so fast. I made her late and wasted her time. The woman who didn't think to stop at an ATM either the night before or anywhere in the 90-mile distance between her house and mine. I looked at my watch and realized it was now 7:35, giving her 10 minutes to make the 20 minute drive to her office.

What I didn't know last Friday when I wrote the poll was what would happen later that evening. At about 8pm, I get a call from her telling me the pad isn't working. She said she can hear it humming, but that the rollers aren't moving, and what should she do. I said I had no idea, that it worked fine this morning, and if the vibration is humming, then the rollers should be on, so maybe she has the cushion backwards. She insisted she doesn't, and then held the phone up to the cushion so I could hear it humming, and asked me again what she should do. I told her I had no idea what she did to it between that morning and that night, but I was happy she insisted I prove it worked, and she was there and saw it work that morning so I don't know what to tell her.

In conversation that morning while we were trying to cut open the zipper, I told her the cushion was a gift from my boyfriend's grandmother (Gerry). That night on the phone, the lady asked me if she would still have the warranty card and receipt so she could send it in. I said I doubted it, so she asked me for Gerry's name and phone number so she could call and ask.

I told her it was inappropriate to even suggest and there was no way I was giving her the name or the number. She asked where Evan's stepgrandmother got it from, and I said QVC. I don't know if that's where GErry bought it from, I only know that's the only place someone could buy it now. The lady asked if Gerry would call up QVC for her and explain the situation, and I again told her that I would not involve Gerry in this whatsoever, and to call QVC herself, tell them it was a gift, but you don't have the receipt and aren't sure if the person who gave it to you is the one who bought it.

We hang up on what I thought would be the last call. Minutes later, she calls again, saying QVC wouldn't do anything without the buyer's name and zip code, and I said I had no more ideas for her. The cushion always worked for me, she saw it work that morning, there was nothing else I could do. She asked me if I would tell Gerry the story and see if she would be willing to help out, and I said I'd try.

Then I saved this nutjob's number in my phone under the silent-ringed "Do Not Answer" entry.

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