popespydie -- Scenario: You're standing in line at the store trying to get out fast. Which stereotypical people are around you? For fun, let's use their Indian names:
Fritos for Fingernails.
Still Uses Checks, or Pressing Cancel Three Times But Can't Get Machine to Work.
Ignores Item Limits.
Doesn't Understand Coupons, or Thinks Candy is WIC.
observacious -- Last night I dreamed there was a mall kiosk of oversized (about 3' x 2') pop-up books, and I bought one based on the movie Barbarella to give as a Christmas gift. What does that mean?
Your inner gay man is screaming for attention.
What you're looking for is a place that has giant sources of knowledge, but what you know is that the things inside are going to be sensationalized and flashy. Sure that sort of thing isn't for you, but there's people in your life who enjoy it.
Christmas is only three and a half months away and we all know damn well we're not going to find presents as awesome as a 3' tall Barbarella Pop-Up Book.
Christmas may be three months away, but Halloween is right around the corner. SPANDEX, BABY!
absolutcalm -- Those Scrubbing Bubble things are kinda scary-- they'd make a great new slasher horror villain, wouldn't they? Shit, if a doll can, why not? What other cleaning icons would make a good slash flick villain?
Mr. Clean: With his hulking muscles and stark white shirt, hunts down unsuspecting babysitters and sleepover party attendees and beats them to death with his bleachsoaked mitts, their last shrieking moments reflected in his glistening forehead.
The Big Black Pine Sol Lady: She seems kind and welcoming, she loves good value and a clean kitchen. But this fraternity's housekeeper has a secret, a grudge, and another use for the end of the mophandle.
The Snuggle Bear: A quiet suburban town is suffering an eerie spike in S.I.D.S. deaths. Mothers are distraught, fathers are furious. No one but a child would suspect the true culprit.
Willie Mays: Kids always dare each other to sneak in the weird bearded inventor's house. This time they get in, and are subjected to a carnival of torture from having their skin Clean Sweeped off, to having their eyes sucked out with a Ding King.
htothem -- How should I get over the post-Bioshock depression? (You know that feeling of complete and utter loss that accompanies the beating of a truly awesome game?) All too well. It's why I still never got past 8-4 of Super Mario World.
Truly awesome video games are like truly awesome vacations. They're a great place to be for a while, but you know you can't live there, and as mundane as the other video games are, you can always reminisce about the truly outstanding ones.
It's like the old adage "the way to get over someone is to get under someone else". Find the next awesome video game and play the shit out of it. It sounds like this fall will be easy pickings, or make a safe bet on an older great you never played.
Wipe the haze out of your eyes, open the blinds, and look out the window. It's sunny and beautiful day. Now go! Go outside!
Take comfort in knowing that a game this awesome, with a response this phenomenal, and that will make as much money as I suspect it will shall not go unsequeled.
twicketface -- What's the best choice of hot sauce when at the grocery store?
Which of the following butthole-related specialty hot sauce names is the best?
renob423 -- is uncle astroman comming to dinner? do you think he'll want to take some desert home with him? should i save some keylime pie? & what % of my questions do you read and say "what the hell does that even mean?"
No | He's Not going | Sure why not | Most of them, yeah.
I don't have an Uncle Astroman | Who is this guy and why is he taking my food | You can but it goes straight to my thighs | I gave up on trying to figure out your questions a while ago.
This is some sort of druggie code isn't it | Is this part about buying the drugs | And this one is about you taking the drugs | 37%.
Aunt Moondoggie won't let him out of the house | He'll want to but damned if I'm falling for that again | You can have your key lime pie but you can't eat it too | Your questions mean whatever my answers make them mean.
subbes -- What's that smell?
Sorry, that's me. I love these shoes, they're the most comfortable ones I own, but damned if they don't make my feet smell like dead fish.
Does it smell like someone just overturned some dirt that's been stagnant for a few decades? Then you might be in North Carolina.
I told you we shouldn't walk through the back alley to get to the restaurant. I'm not hungry anymore.
eideteker -- How long can renob keep milking the poll for so many questions?
No more than 256 characters.
If he's got questions, I've got answers. And don't tell me you don't like it better when you have more to read on a boring Friday.
Hey, if you want to ask triple questions, nothing's stopping you.
You're just jealous because we haven't been busting on your questions as much lately.
friendship7 -- What's the niftiest thing about the summer coming to a close?
The smell. Both the onset of fall smell and the offset of summer bum smell.
The return of layers.
All the "fall harvest"-flavored seasonal things are starting to show up.
The probability of seeing a sandaled hairy manfoot is getting slimmer and slimmer by the day.
What's the worst thing about summer coming to a close?
Having to listen to the same dickwipes in the elevator who spent all summer bitching about the heat whine about how it's getting cold.
The "everybody's on vacation so we can't really get much done anyway" lackadaisical attitude in the office is also coming to a close.
So long berries, melon, grapes, decent cucumbers, cheap bell peppers, corn and avocados. See you next year.
Having to look longingly at all those awesome school supplies you don't have any reason to buy.
I just booked a flight on AirTran. Those cocksuckers wanted $5 a seat (or $15 for exit rows) to select your seat before you check in the day of your flight. I guess that's an untapped revenue source for people who are hellbent on aisle seats, but seriously, what's next?
McDonalds charging a "bagging fee" for to-go orders.
The "specialty soda charge" for ordering anything other than Coke.
Hotels charging an "in-room amenities fee" if you want soap or little bottles of shampoo.
Check here to have your prescription placed in a handy orange bottle. Otherwise, we’ll just toss your pills in the bag.