htothem -- Why won't Hammer pants come back?
The fashion trend environment is like a fragile ecosystem: certain trends cannot exist independently of one another. Hammer Pants will only return in a favorable environment in which Skidz, multicolor 8-Ball jackets, and banana clips.
People have tried, but banks are a little gunshy about investing money in anything associated with MC Hammer.
Considering the life cycle of retro fads, they have about 3 - 4 years to go.
The fads that retro are the ones that were quirky and fun, but didn't look too stupid. Take the latest 80's regurges: popped collars were bad, but not awful, but peg rolled pants? No way. Hammer Pants don't have a chance.
observacious -- Most women’s costumes on eBay are “sexy” versions of something else, including Marie Antoinette, a bumble bee, an inmate, a referee, a scarecrow, and Minnie Mouse. What would be the most disturbing costume to see a sexy version of this Halloween?
Sexy Hillary Clinton.
eideteker -- If not having a question is akin to erectile dysfunction (querile dysfunction?) inquestile?, surely medical science (read: big pharma not the rapper) will come up with a pill we can take. What will it be called and how will it be marketed?
Medium shots of expressionless young professionals: Are you feeling boring? Uninspired? Unfunny? Ask your doctor about Polquestra. Faces brighten with inspiration Polquestra reduces the hangover enzymes that can inhibit creativity.
Vince Neil and True Heart Bear drink Slurpees in a parked DeLorian: You love it all: celebrity gossip, nostalgia fads, and popular culture. Synthrocult supplements the brain's natural classification process with new, innovative categories.
A montage of Zoloft bubbles being shortchanged in frustrating situations: After a week of enduring the insensitivities of others, are you unable to remember what got you so mad in the first place? Keep it fresh in your mind with Grudgicore.
Rosairo Dawson, black & white, angry: "You think you can do it? You think you have a question? You have nothing. Is the pressure of Friday Polling shutting you down? RD in color, soft faced: "Soften the stress with Rosiquex. And ask away."
renob423 -- WHATS GOOD??? WHATS REALLY GOOD!?!?!?! - is the public a bunch of asshoes - whats the story with wisconsin anyway?
Pinball | Addams Family Pinball | If they are, what does that make me | Something must have happened to make the people scared of spicy food. They all were afraid to get the Buffalo Chicken Sandwich at Red Robin in case it was too spicy.
Thinking of the perfect jaw-dropping comeback to somebody | Thinking of it at the right time | They are, so what should we call Public Transportation? | They have those little cheese clump things and that badass custard & butterburger place.
Rice Krispie Treats | Rice Krispie Treats with chocolate chips | Maybe they're just nice people and we're assholes for expecting them to be different | You mean the one with the pregnant cop and the money buried in the field? That was North Dakota.
Getting a nice compliment| Getting the same compliment later from somebody else | No, but it's more fun to think of them that way | The vastness of the state has conditioned the residents to think nothing of driving hours and hours to get anywhere.
subbes -- Midseason replacement shows the networks pulled out of their asses at the last minute
Guardian Retriever: After Wade dies unexpectedly, he goes to heaven and meets god, who says he can return to his life on earth, but as a golden retriever. He convinces his family to adopt him, so he can watch over and protect them like a good dog.
Bunnikinz & Thudrbyrd: They met over the internet and fell in love, but "Bunnikinz", a sassy black hairdresser from Queens, had no idea "Thundrbyrd" was a white Wall Street trader living on the Upper West Side. Can their relationship work IRL?
The Mountainvale 9: Nine college buddies find themselves living in the suburbs with wives they love but lives they don't know how they got into. For an escape, they make up a fake baseball team as an excuse to get together. Will they get caught?
Double Shot: At the coolest coffee shop in town, this ragtag group of twentysomethings serve up java with a snark. With the punk cashier girl, the flamboyant barrista boy, and the bizarre array of customers, there's a cup of comedy for everybody!
absolutcalm -- Just when I thought Lolcatz had completely ridden out it's memetic intertron fame, I was cursed with the Lolcat Bible.... What more can we expect from the Lolcats? Porn?
Lolcat Shakespeare: oh hai, i iz ur ghost dad. ur momz wuz up in mah bed, poizinin me.
Lolcat Overused Movie Quotes: i beleeve u has mah staplur.
Lolcat Diversity Training: i'm in yur office, bein Azn 'n' Gey.
Lolcat Oral Hygeine: 4 best rizultz, skweze toob frum bottim an' flattin as u goez up.
jerasue -- If I were to play my nineties playlist at a party, do you think its kitsch value would rescue me from losing the little indie cred I have?
Barring line-item nixes for suckage (Bitch) and incorrect decade (Goody Two Shoes), this is a well-constructed party mix featuring highly-listenable pop songs which are memorable enough to be kitschy. Big ups for the heavy Ace of Base presence.
Since we were musically aware and possessed indie cred when these songs were popular, we aren't able to muster up quaint nostalgia for these lame radio hits the same way we would an early 80's song we vaguely remember hearing when we were nine.
Appreciating fluffy pop in concert with genuine good music gives one indie cred. People who glom on to a scene and pretend they never heard any other music before and can't understand how anyone could like anything but it are the ultimate posers.
Playlists such as these could be just what we need to set the stage for a return of Hammer Pants.
Which of the following signs most make you think, "oh, fuck you" when you see it?
At the supermarket: Parking for Expectant Mothers and Families with Children.
Hand-lettered near the curb on somebody's lawn "Take a Brake!"
At the exit of a McDonalds, printed on a sign with a little McDonald's logo at the bottom: No Left Turns.
Near a hospital: Quiet Zone.
And, inspired by a new sign on the street near my office, which of the following signs are much more amusing when you think about them differently:
Slow Children At Play.
Heavy Pedestrian Traffic.
Open Joints on Bridge.
YOUR QUESTION HERE -or- GET IT UP, BITCHES