pooplord -- Closer to hell: being too busy at work, or not having enough to do?
Too busy. I shouldn't be stressing about how much more work I could be doing every time I stopped to take a whiz.
Not having enough to do. After you reach the end of the internet and fight off the fearful pangs of guilt over getting caught slacking off and not asking for more work, the day's still not half over.
absolutcalm -- The whole "guaranteed sex for life" part of the wedding question shows bias: every man understands the wedding is the official END of sex for life.
Those men must have married some crappy women.
No wonder there's so many illegitimate children in the world. How anyone was ever born to married parents is a mystery.
If you're afraid of that, have a Jewish wedding. Then you'd get to have sex between the wedding and the reception. At least you'd have sex once after you got married.
You still believe that shit? Women have been fueling that myth for years to make sure you guys take marriage seriously. None of the married men fill the single ones in because they think they have the only wife in the world who puts out.
eideteker -- If you could have sex with any of Captain Planet's Planeteers, which one would you pick? Which one would you marry? And which one would you kill? Now, not when they were kids. And they still have their rings and can use all the associated powers. I can't say I have ever seen a single episode of Captain Planet. This is me faking I know anything about that show with the help of the Wiki:
Marry: Kwame. Apparently he's the leader and takes charge and is all responsible and stuff.
Fuck: Either the Asian chick or the Russian chick. With such a strong representation from two stereotypically oversexualized cultures, how could you go wrong?
Fuck: Wheeler. Because I'm into dudes and New York accents make me all tingly.
Kill: the Heart kid. Seriously, that's the stupidest most lameass, lamer than renob423
trying to call me out on lameness lame thing ever.
subbes -- Niche torrent communities.
redbard.com: audio files of the complete works of William Shakespeare, as read by Scott "Carrot Top" Thompson.
gangstakahn.com: the best source for Mongolian hip-hop.
miscoms.com: a network of foreign versions of old familiar TV shows. Such as the Turkish Married with Children and the Swedish Three's Company.
badpause.com: file after file of the unfortunate faces celebrities make when you pause your TiVo on them mid-word.
renob423 -- i recently learned the best xmas movie ever, 1984's silent night deadly night is being remade how fucking great will this remake be? i also know a few grown ass men (mid 20's - early 30's) into wrestling (wwf style). is that lamer than slasher films & dnd
About as "fucking great" as any remoake of an 80's movie can be. If by "fucking great" you mean a shameless attempt in making a PG-13 remake of a movie that got an R rating back when the world wasn't half as pussified as it is now.
Plenty of grown breast men are interested in pro wrestling too.
Way lamer. Slasher films and D&D have pretty much already been done with games like Call of Cuthulu or All Flesh Must Be Eaten. And they're way cooler than wrestling.
Um, the 4th thing?
lgdizko -- Whatever happened to "Sorry, You are neither mentally nor emotionally damaged enough for me" as a pick up line for a serial killer?
Just because the serial killers are mentally and/or emotionally damaged doesn't mean they seek that quality out in a mate.
That's more of a rejection. Unless the serial killer in this scenario is going for the whole "make them want me by making them think I'm not interested" angle. Which, why not just kill them then?
Anyone with the self-awareness to say something that defines boundaries as clearly as that has definitely been through some effective therapy. If they're still a serial killer, they won't be for long.
Serial killers stopped using that line after it showed up on the dropdown menu of "wink" responses on match.com.
htothem -- What will I miss most about the monkey farm?
Getting to spend one day a week surrounded by creatures with at least the equivalent mental capacity of a two-year-old.
How unlike most places of work, every day at the monkey farm had a decent probability of a poo-flinging incident.
Really getting down in the dirt and being a part of the monkey planting and growing processes.
Number of boy monkeys that the slutty girl monkey mated with in 20 minutes: 3. Number of monkeys seen sucking their own penises: 1. Number of female monkeys that tried to act like we were attacking her so the male monkey would come and rescue her: 2.
haveyaseenlucky -- So like, now that you've got a Wii, what do you think of Nintendo naming everything with a wii prefix, like wii-mote, wii-ware, it's like 1950s science fiction movies where every noun/verb is preceeded by the word "space" (space-food, space-rocks) Also wh
In 10 years, we'll be able to look back on the wii-stuff and nostalgically remember this exact time. Just like when it feels like 1998 all over again any time you see "e-" something.
If Nintendo can market it properly, hopefully we'll get some clever commercials showing us how smug and superior we should act because we own things with the wii-prefix. If it worked for apple, it can work for them.
Can somebody start putting fins on cars again please? The whole space-age Jetsons look has got to come back one of these days.
Honestly, it's getting a little tiresome. Mii was clever, but the rest of it is going too far. I freaking know it's wii-ware. I bought it for my Wii.
observacious -- If, as according to Wikipedia, the actual girth of Emporer Charles the Fat is in unknown, why did someone give him the nickname "the Fat"? It just sounds mean.
Consider how the socioeconomic symbolism of obesity has changed since the 9th century. Emperor "Charles the Fat" then would be the equivalent of calling you Empress "Kim the Toned" now.
He was "Charles the F.A.T" (for Francian And Tempting), but that got lost in the font styles of early versions of the printing press.
It's like those emails that say Marilyn Monroe was a size 14 and all that shit. If a 14 was pinup size only 50 years ago, 1000 years ago, Charles the Fat was probably 6'1 and about 130lb.
Sure, it's mean, but people were tougher back then. They didn't have things like washing machines and chiropractors making them soft.
friendship7 -- puppy-heaven: what could possibly be greater than it?
Any place that's not dependent on dead puppies.
Baby Animal heaven, where you could play with baby anythings from tigers to duckies.
Puppy Heaven: Now With Free Cookies!
If puppies never turned into dogs, puppy heaven would be here on earth. Then we'd be in the greatest place ever all the time.
Every time I see ___________, I'm just as appalled as the first time I saw it.
The Tom Cruise Couch Jumping.
The Charmin "Bears shitting in the woods" commercials.
The annual "omg we totally didn't realize we should have fixed the air conditioning unit before May so sry guys, no AC until like June or whatever" memo from my apartment management company.