mac -- The New Kids are staging a comeback...who will be next?
Another Bad Creation.
pooplord -- I just got a new boss and we get along very well. How am I supposed to act like a frustrated 20something cubicle worker now?
When the frustrated 20somethings around you bash their boss and their jobs, give a lot of noncomittal "yeah"s and "tell me about it"s.
Make up a new livejournal in which you write entirely in the character of a frustrated 20something cubicle worker. Live a double life!
Instead of focusing your 20something angst on your boss, choose something more overarching, like your company's come-lately commitment to "Green" or "Inclusion". It's what's been keeping me nice and jaded.
You're not. Getting a boss you like is the first step towards shaking off your 20something angst and becoming upwardly mobile.
absolutcalm -- M. Night Shymalamadingdong is about to drop another turd on the movie-going audiences-- I don't have a question. Just mock that hack motherfucker.
Maybe this movie's twist is going to be that you can't predict the twist from the trailer. Shocking!
Hey, it's not his fault the studios try to squeeze every one-trick-pony for more hits. I'm sure, as an artist, he would have stopped after Sixth Sense if they only let him stay true to his medium.
Is it going to be about aliens that come to conquer earth but happen to have respiratory systems that are damaged by nitrogen inhalation? That would be awesome.
Rod Serling wrote hundreds of Twilight Zone episodes. There's plenty left he can plagiarize.
popespydie -- I got a call from AC Neilsen in Hollywood and they wanted to do a survey of my movie going habits over the past two months but since I had only seen one movie in the theater I was shunned and not allowed to do it. What were the questions going to be?
On a scale of seven to ten, how many more commercials would you like to see onscreen before the trailers begin?
How much more would you be willing to pay for your ticket if the theaters provided security gaurds for ejecting the loud, boisterous, screentalking patrons from the theater for you? a) $2, b) $4, c) $6, d) $8.
Which of these factors most heavily influences your movie choices: a)Franchise appeal, b)Clever, catchy trailers, c)The reviews I read on the internet/in the newspaper, d)I don't really care what I see, I just like looking at big moving pictures.
If you can think of any films you have ever seen or have a positive opinion of that have not been remade and/or retooled within the past six years, please provide the names of those movies here:
observacious -- How long can I use excitement about my wedding and "just got back from my honeymoon" as excuses for not being motivated at work?
Until one of your co-workers has a baby or suffers a serious illness. Essentially, until you're upstaged.
Until the full week after Labor Day. Nobody's doing shit between now and then anyway, so at least you have an excuse.
Until the clucking hens in your office stop calling you "the newlywed" or making a fuss out of your married name.
Until your postnuptial bliss is shattered by the consequences of your slacking off crashing onto your lap.
coldblackncold -- I was at Chipotle this afternoon and noticed a business card in the "Win a Lunch for your Office" jar with the following name: Jordan Honeyman. Is this the gayest name ever? What does Jordan Honeyman do for a living?
Personal Trainer, natch.
He's the manager of the local Build-A-Bear workshop.
I'm not sure what he does. Under his name where a person's title usually is, it just says "Busy Bee" and gives a phone number.
subbes -- What's behind the enduring popularity of quiz shows?
They make average joes feel smart because they may know the answer to the question that the fancy TV contestant got wrong.
They provide a necessary educational service to the general public and the Department of Education won't allow them to be taken off the air. Like America's Most Wanted.
There are still a few people out there who have realized that Deal or No Deal isn't requiring any intelligence on the part of the contestant and refuse to watch that sort of bullshit.
Not everybody can sing, dance, know the words to karaoke songs or are hot enough to win the televised love of an internet whore, underwear model or washed-up rock star. They give hope to the ugly and talentless.
subbes -- Possible alternate topic: objects lodged up eideteker's butt.
A Han Solo in Hoth Gear action figure.
The remote control.
ccjohn -- When Megan wrote that thing about two JD airplane bottles as a wedding favor, was she quietly jonesing for it?
I must also have been quietly jonesing for condom-shaped gummy candy.
Jonesing for an inappropriate wedding favor or jonesing for Jack Daniels? You be the judge.
No way. Me and whiskey, as coldblackncold
so perfectly put it, had a falling out years ago. It fell out of my mouth and we haven't been on good terms since.
Hey, sometimes you've had enough jordan almonds.
renob423 -- the light is still out in my bathroom (day 16). have you ever had to wipe your ass in total darkness? how did you know when you were totally clean and it was safe to pull up your pants? will the light get fixed 1st or the bathtub get cleaned out 1st?
Maybe when I was camping or something, or in a power outage. But my dad convinced me once that when the power was out the toilet wouldn't work so you couldn't poop in it.
Do we ever really know when it's safe to pull up our pants?
Are you trying to make us think one of you has ever cleaned your bathroom? I wouldn't be surprised if you guys wore shower shoes.
eideteker -- What is the meaning of this Friday Poll? Will subbes ever forgive me for busting on her? Will renob423 set up a light bulb webcam so we can watch in realtime the bulb status? Will these questions & more be answered in the next episode?
Follow the link. You know what it's about. Or is the phrasing of it putting you in some sort of philosophical quandary?
She probably hasn't thought about it since.
I hope so. It wouldn't be any worse than most of the webcams out there.
Please, we already get one of these a week. Your question skills run from genuinely awesome to uniquely shitty. No need to copy someone else's shitty style.
Things I learned from the guy who decided to talk to me the entire time my work buddies and I were sneaking a few beers during a long lunch at the bar:
The United States is run by a cartel of people in the know. We may think it's like the old days when our votes counted for anything, but they don't, and this stuff has been going on since even before World War II.
The women who work for trucking companies that calculate how fast you've been driving based on how long it took you to get from scale to scale are ballbreakers because they have to be since they're in a very macho "men's world" workplace.
People get cancer when the alkali content of their bodies' is off. Things like alcohol and cigarettes are acidic, and things like whole grains and broccoli are bases. Like the chemicals in a pool, the body must be in the right pH balance.
When his truck got stolen a few weeks ago in Nevada, the officer taking his info didn't seem to care, but he did get a call a little later saying his truck was found on 395 North outside of Carson City, on the way up to the Indian Reservation.
The morning radio bozos were yammering about how people are planning a staycation for this holiday weekend because of the soaring gas prices.
Fuck that, I'm going to the beach.
Fuck that, I can get a few hours of sun on my balcony for free.
Fuck that, who in their right mind actually went anywhere on Memorial Day Weekend in the first place? Are you fucking kidding me?