The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight (maeincarnate) wrote,
The Mad Poller What Polls at Midnight

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It's Friday Poll Time!

Poll? WTF?

Poll #1204292 Friday! Friday!! Friday!!!

mac -- B Movies are the new Daily Show (making news good-er)...Attack of the Killer Tomatoes is the first....which will be next?

They Saved Hitler's Brain. Con: it's Hitler's brain. Pro: Austin Powersesque hilarity routine in which Dolphie learns about the changes sixty years can make.
Killer Clowns from Outer Space. It started with the deaths of a few Shriners. Then the mysterious birthday party killings. Soon, nobody was safe at a McDonalds grand opening.
Planet of the Dinosaurs. Everybody has been wondering why we haven't been back to the moon or tried to get on some other planet. Maybe NASA knows something we don't.

pooplord -- Explain the scenario here:

Tired of the constant upkeep and risk to her chicks, the eagle decided to show that nest-eating bastard she's not one to be fucked with.
Nature show cameraman experiences the defining moment of his career.
Eagles aren't stupid. They know nobody can hurt them, alive or dead. They've worked the system so hard they are the system. Who's going to kick up a fuss about one little goat? Whaddya gonna do, arrest an endangered species?
For an eagle, a goat is like the 9lb value pack of pork chops at Costco: sometimes the allure of an incredible deal is too much to ignore, even when you know damn well you don't need that much pork and there's no way you'll fit it in your freezer.

renob423 -- whats with nutsacks who feel the need to crittersize other people's spelling and brag about their copy of windows? what kind of english nerd bullshit is that? seriously, you spell good, so fuckin what, you want a ribbon or something?

For real. There is so much better stuff to mock your questions for. Picking on spelling mistakes is the lazy way out.
Hey guys! Lookit me! I have a copy of WINDOWS!!!
Yeah, you show that English nerd nutsack. And whatever it is that belongs to his operating system.

trappedinabay -- Two people climbed the New York Times building yesterday, and everyone is in a tizzy. Why would you cover your building in a ladder-like shell if you didn't want people climbing it?

And really, is there a better way to "draw attention to global warming"? I sure can't think of one. I'm totally getting a Prius now. Thanks, Pierre Parker.
Even though it looks like a ladder doesn't mean you should climb it. There's a building near Dulles Airport that looks like a Jawa transporter, but we all know it's not full of secondhand protocol droids, and we're not thinking of breaking in to find out.
The folks at the Times designed it that way after a trip in their future machine. They have known the days of newspapers are coming to an end for years now and knew they had to give the public some reason to keep thinking about the New York Times.
It's entrapment. Like the guy who sued a pinata factory after he got caught fucking a pinata. They knew he'd get bored working the night shift so they put extra wires in it to cut up his dick.

subbes -- what the hell is up with this insomnia, dude

Damn you Adult Swim! How am I supposed to get any sleep when there's new Venture Brothers and Metalocalypse episodes on?
Though the annual season of reprieve no longer applies to you, your body has entered summer vacation mode. If you were in a position to be sleeping from 3am to noon every day, you wouldn't be having this problem.
Considering all the effed up dreams I've been having from the heat, insomnia sounds pretty good right now. Last night it was something about hanging out with an Irish-accented Elijah Wood on a little island between Manhattan and Brooklyn.
Because I have failed him of his request to get at least one more goddamn person to realize how awesome the Showtime Rotisserie Grill is, Ron Popeil has contaminated the water supply with Stacker 2. What else are you gonna watch?

absolutcalm -- My question has forced renob423 to ask a coherent question (or.. comment... or whatever...) without asking a bunch of others. Obviously, it's time for a show down. How will our epic Friday Poll duel end?

Coherent? Hardly. But hey, it's your victory if you want to claim it.
With a whimper. He barely notices the callouts at all, let alone enough to consider this a duel. After a while, you'll get bored of busting on him and return to your cleverly scheduled programming. And he won't remember this even happened.
Thanks to the gladiatorial bout unfolding today, he will suddenly realize how tired and boring his nonsense questions have become, and if he's ever to be left alone, he'll fly straight, his free spirit crushed by wavy red lines of vigilance.
The showdown may end for you, but like it started with me and was picked up by eideteker for a few weeks, you too will pass the torch to another worthy adversary.

eideteker -- If you had a superpower that only worked on livejournal, what would it be?

I could find any entry or any comment I could think of based on a simple "search" of "key" words I recall being in it.
To have an eyebeam that disintegrates comments whose sole purpose is to provide ::huggles::, people bitching about the service they're getting on their free account, or complaints about the people that run LJ orwhateverthefuck they just announced.
To be able to see the psychic imprints of the thoughts passing through everyone's mind as they skipped past, glanced over, or read but didn't comment.
Magically create a community with the same ill-conceived hilarious naiveté as vegancats. Or at the very least, retrieve their posts from the purged ether.

Yesterday, one of my co-workers showed up wearing a blue seersucker suit with a pink shirt and a pink bow-tie.

Awesome. Get that man a mint julep!
At least one wacky too many. There's a line between quirky and costume.

When I asked one of our other co-workers what the deal was with his getup, she said she asked, but he refused to tell her why he was dressed this way. I:

went into his office and without the tact my colleague is graced with, asked him if he thought he was going to a theme party at lunch or something.
stopped caring about it that instant. If he's going to dress to attract that much attention and then be coy when he gets it, it's not going to be funny enough to be worth my time.

Later, my boss is standing in my doorway talking to me. He glances down the hall and sees the Colonel and bursts out laughing. He then says he feels bad because he just laughed at the guy's outfit, and worries if he should apologize.

Yeah, that was pretty fucked up. You should go apologize.
A person dresses like that to get laughed at, or at least, to think they're being laughed with. You made that guy's day.

Mattress stores:

The markup on mattresses must be outrageous. They're always in good locations taking up a shitton of space, but nobody's ever in there.
How goddamn stupid do you have to be to buy a mattress full price? They've got President's Day Sales, Memorial Day Sales, Father's Day Sales, Long Weekend Sales, Factory Liquidation Sales. I wonder if you even can buy them full price.
The last true believers in the radio jingle.
What's the deal with the Mix-and-Match sales? How does it happen that the mattresses and box springs get separated? And really, who would ever care if their mattress and their box spring are different colors?


Tags: friday poll

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