pooplord -- GO TO VOLKSWERKS! right by EFC Metro. I have no question, only VW-owning advice. Wait, write a question about Fahrvergnugen. It seems you're struggling with the main concept of the exercise here. You write questions. I write answers for those questions. Instead, in poll-form, I will relay the tale of my recent (and final) trips to the Alexandria VW dealership: Last Wednesday, I brought my car into the dealership for a 50,000 mile checkup and to investigate my Check Engine light, which since I have owned the car, goes on and off intermittently for days at a time. When they called me on Thursday with an estimate of what needed to be done, they quoted me a grand total of:
Mean: 1454.55 Median: 1400 Std. Dev 242.58
I wasn't sure if most of the things they suggested I have done were dealership-worthy, but when I said I may not get all the work they said they needed to be done to get the Check Engine light off, they said I would have to pay the Check Engine Light diagnostic fee if I didn't. Congratulating them on the fantastic bendover job, I agreed to do everything but the "Fuel Ingestion Cleaning Service" because:
It seemed like the least important thing to do.
Midas or whoever could probably do it for about $300 less than they wanted.
It sounded like total fucking bullshit anyway.
All of the above.
After the work is finished, they called me to say it was ready for pickup. Even though I said not to do the cleaning service, they said while they were in there, they would do me a solid and clean out my throttle body for me, but after they did it, it set off another Check Engine sensor, so if the light comes back on, I'll have to come back to have work done on that. Fine, whatever. I pick up the car that night, and:
Thankfully, the Check Engine light is off.
The fucking Check Engine light is still on.
The car does feel better to drive, and that damn light has been on so long I barely think about it. I enjoy a nice ride in to work on Friday, but on Friday night when I try to go home:
Everything's fine! Why wouldn't it be? (wrong answer)
The car won't start.
The car starts, but won't go into gear.
The car starts, but shuts off as soon as I touch the gas.
I call the dealership to have them send a tow truck to come get it. They gave me the number of their towing company and said if it turns out to be their fault, they'll pay for it. I call the tow people, and after getting the fuckaround for about an hour, say I'm fine with waiting until tomorrow if they'd like to schedule a time. They said they can't keep a schedule, but would call between 9 and 10 am to tell me when to come out and meet them (my car is in the garage at work which is closed Saturdays). I call at 10:30, and am told they'd need about 45 minutes. After it was all said and done, when did the tow truck meet us at the garage?
When the tow truck guy arrived, what did he have with him?
His wife and baby following behind him in their minivan, and cigarettes dangling out of both his and his wife's mouths.
The right size tow truck to get into the garage.
A GPS unit to help him find the places where the cars are that he needs to tow.
This is getting long and ridiculous. After the guy hooked up a chain between my car and the minivan (spoiler!) we had to help guide and push my car out of the garage so he could get it on the tow truck outside. Monday, I expected a call from the dealership telling me they have my car. When I called at 11am and again at 4:30, they seemed irritated that I was bugging them about it. They called back at 5:30 to say:
Wouldn'tchaknow it, that part that we cleaned for you after you told us not to is fucked up and you'll have to get it repaired.
After thoroughly chewing out the ass of the guy telling me there was more work to be done to get my car running after I brought it in for some preventative maintenence, he suggested I speak to the manager. The next day, I recapped the story, gnawed the manager's ass for a while, and finally, the solution agreed upon was:
The repairs will be $1,000 more. We told you to get this fixed and you should have. And the tow will be $135.
We should have stressed to you more how important it was to get that cleaning service done, so we'll cover the tow and the labor, but you'll have to pay for the $675 part.
We should have stressed to you more how important it was to get that cleaning service done, so we'll cover the tow and the labor, and we'll split the cost of the part, so you'll have to pay $335.
We're terribly sorry for the inconvenience and the time you've had to spend dealing with this. Your car is ready and there's no charge.
observacious -- Is Bikram Yoga really better than other yoga or does working out for 90 minutes in a 105 degree room make people so delirious that it just seems better?
It's not delirium, per se, but a common distrust of any workout that doesn't leave you drenched in sweat. While regular yoga is intense, strenuous and all around fantastic, it doesn't seem like a real workout if you don't need to shower.
It's more authentic. The O.G. yogis did it in 105 degree weather.
It adds extra strength and balance conditioning through the extra effort of staying still and upright so you don't fall flat on your ass and/or face because of your slippery feet and sweaty hands.
Anybody with a gym membership can go to regular yoga classes, but you have to go to and pay for a special studio for Bikram. And we all know stuff you pay extra for is better.
absolutcalm -- I just told a friend I feel good because the power of the yellow sun is giving me GAMMA STRENGTH. It's a total uber-geek mixed-metaphor-- now you try!
That was even more awesome than when Ganondorf faced off to that Balor in the Mines of Moria!
She's aged more than Lion-O on Earth-Two.
Shit, they're crazier than a Malkavian Reaver clan.
It's just like any woman, after you're done harvesting her ADAM, you beat her to death and steal her money.
popespydie -- Why did they take so long to kick Jen off of Hell's Kitchen? Though I've been told I should be watching this show, I don't. So the following responses are from various Hell's Kitchen forums. Apparently she lasted as long as she did because even though she's an insufferable bitch, she has some cooking talent. How insufferable, you ask? Let's let the fans tell you:
"Jen's weired an sucks at cookin an back talks waaay tooo much deserves to be witch slapped!( cant say real word) seriously horrible cook an ugly waste wish she went earlier! IMA HATER OF JEN!"
re: I think all of America - with the possible exception of her family and any friends that thought she might be able to float them a loan - is glad she's gone now.: "Ok I get family. But Friends, do you really think she has any?"
"Can't wait to see that idiot Jen go home but they won't do it yet because they think she affects the ratings in a good way which I personally don't believe, imho she worsens the ratings but to each their own."
renob423 -- how come there are no fucking cheat codes for dead rising? and what is up with this spelling bullshit? i graduated collage w/o good spelling, it's obsoleet these days. Any further comment on renob's spelling will be disregarded. I'm bored of this tiredass subject.
Fuck that, how could they take a game concept as purely wonderful as slaughtering zombies in a mall and go fuck it up with a stupid, unfixable time limit?
This really isn't the corner of the internet to go looking for cheat codes. We don't have any. Sorry.
How come everybody expects there to be cheat codes for everything? Freaking play the game.
Lol, you can put Lego heads on zombies in that game.
renob423 -- for men: do you shave your back
No, I don't have to.
No...I um...don't think I have to?
renob423 -- for women: guys who shave there backs - sexy or gay?
My man's back should be hairless and I shouldn't know a damn thing about what he does to get it that way.
eideteker -- The "Word of the day" today is "Cockaigne", which is apparently a mythical land of plenty whose name shares an origin with "cake." I think you can do better.
Balzhaar: In a Danish folktale, the Balzhaar Swamp was home to a hag who could assume the form of a beautiful young woman to lure men into the swamp and enslave them. The name comes from the ancient Danish word haarig which means "foggy".
Saqskine: A term used in the 1500's to refer to a lining fashioned out of animal hide to seal barrels for transporting water on long sea voyages. When the sailors neared the end of their water supply, they would say the were "licking the saqskine".
Titzflappin: An area of unusual seismic activity on a small island county off the northwestern coast of Ireland. From the Gaelic tit'tzn meaning "boulder", the Titzflappin clan died out soon after the cataclysmic earthquake of 1104.
Kuzanippal: A Peruvian fish, similar to the largemouth bass, that has an unusual eating method in which it waits for prey to wander into its open mouth, then sucks the digestible parts off the skeleton. From the Incan kuz meaning "hole".
Alternate question interpretation:
Cockagine (cock-aah-jine) n. A general term for the genital region of a hermaphrodite.
Cockagine (cock-uh-gin) n. The motor, usually battery-operated, found inside a dildo.
Cockagine (cock-ah-jzeen) n. A collective term for pornographic periodicals featuring naked men.
Cockagine (cock-KAYGE-in) v. A medieval word, equivalent to the modern "cockblock" referring to one putting another's cock in a cage.
In case you can't read it, it says "KleenEarth" on the blades of these scissors.
This "going green" bullshit is "going too far". They're fucking scissors. Does the little blob of green plastic on the handles make them eco-friendly?
The handle must be made of recycled plastic or something. Whatever helps.